My neighbors have chickens. I have no issues with the chickens, it's that goddamn rooster that I hate. They must have gotten a deal on one that was dropped on his head as a chick because he starts crowing before dawn and he doesn't stop. I swear he doesn't even take a breath between cock-a-doodle doos. I lay in bed every morning and fantasize about rooster murder. It's the best way to start the day.
My kids hate my cooking. I get it, because I hate it too...but I'm the only one who is allowed to say it. If I spend almost two hours making some special gluten/dairy/soy/egg free nasty dinner, then my kids need to learn to stop questioning me and just eat it.
All of our dependents work in shifts to make sure we don't sleep for more than 4 hours at a time. Yeah, I'm including these two assholes in the line up.
|I don't even care|
|I just want to love you at 4am|
Faith is having some kind of back to school anxiety spike that means she's up multiple times a night (of course) which works nicely with the baby's wonderful sleep habits. Maybe in a few months things will be better and bed time will be a simple process and we won't hear a peep from them until a reasonable hour. Oh, I crack myself up.
My kids insist on touching me at all times. This is one of those things that if you complain about in public, some older lady will always interrupt you and say "You're going to miss this! Cherish these days!" Yeah, I'm sure you just relished being constantly accosted with sticky hands and icy little chubby feet all day with a smile on your face.
Trying to manage my expectations for going to see the pain management doctor. I keep telling myself "After that appointment, I'm going to feel better!" and then I have a Gollum-esque internal argument about how it probably won't help at all and I shouldn't trust the
Our garage is a graveyard for all things small and crawl-y. If you remember, we have a problem with black widow spiders (an infestation would be a a better word) so we have a company come out and spray for the spiders. To kill off the black widow spiders, they basically have to kill everything. Every time the kids go out in the garage to get their outside toys, I have to explain the mysteries of life and death and how that little lizard isn't just sleeping and no amount of yelling "HEY LIZARD!" will wake him up. It's fun.
The last week at the less than stellar preschool. Yesterday I was at the pick up and the teacher told the parents in the hall (as we stood in our proper line) that they started a new reward procedure and if a kid did something positive, they got to take home a paper heart with that act written on it. Every single kid got to take home a heart yesterday. Except for my kid.
|Look at that cute little face and TELL me how you won't give her a freaking paper heart reward|
Yeah, I really enjoyed sending that email telling them we are taking our kid and our money to greener pastures starting next week.
What do you feel like complaining about today? Also, if you have rooster killing ideas, feel free to share. Not that I would do it. Of course not.