I pretend to be a pony and make snorting noises and carry Faith while doing a Monty Python-esque horse trot around the house, just because she giggles when I do that.
I make her pizza for lunch and then share my Oreos with her:
 |
| You had me at "Limited Edition" |
 |
| I can't believe I had to wait 14 months to have an Oreo |
 |
| How do they fit so much deliciousness in this little cookie? |
 |
| Mommy, this piece is missing creme filling. |
I'm raising her to be a very high tech baby. She already knows how to open my lap top and hit buttons that do awful things to my computer.
 |
| I need to tweet |
One thing I don't rock at? Trying to teach the kid to not be abusive to the dog. Evidence:
Please disregard my vain attempts to reason with a 1 year old. Sometimes it works, but usually it doesn't.
Also, you know how you see adorable pictures on some people's blogs of their kids peacefully sleeping in their crib? Well, yesterday Faith was napping for too long and I had to go wake her anyway, so I decided to see if I could take a picture of how cute she looks when she sleeps. Or...I could take a picture of a really pissed off baby all tangled in her sleep sack.
 |
| Please note the baby gnaw marks on the crib railing |
 |
| You are SO MEAN Mommy. |
Don't even get me started on the many ways I rock at being a wife.
Husband looking at stack of unwashed dishes
Me: Yeah, I didn't do those yet. For some reason, I'm tired.
H: Did the baby give you a hard time today?
Me: No, I think it's because my training plan is making me run more.
H: Really? Your training plan for a 50 mile race is making you run a lot? And that makes you tired? That's shocking!
Me: [Smacking husband]
How do you rock at being a parent/wife/girlfriend/sister/whatever?
Are you a sucker for limited edition stuff like me?
Hahaha, there is so much hilarity in this post! She's so angry in those last pictures! And after seeing those gnaw marks, I think I'm afraid of your baby. I'll bring Oreos when I show up in December to bribe her in to liking me.
ReplyDeleteLol!! Poor Peanut! ;) She just takes it like a champ, though. She must be used to it.
ReplyDeleteAnd that conversation with your Husband is classic.
Excuse me while I go hunt down some of those Oreos...
You need to make these Oreo cupcakes. That would make you a better mother. (Plus, you need to have leftover for your friends.)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.bakerella.com/cookies-and-cream-cupcakes/
BTW, I got Bakerella's cake pop book from the library yesterday. It's great!
You are so funny! That's why I love this blog. Always makes me laugh. I love how the baby was putting her fingers in the poor dog's nose. And there she was, just laying on her boppy again..
ReplyDeleteAnd let me just get this straight.. the Blizzard Oreos are like regular oreos, but with MORE oreo cookies IN the cream? OMG. It looks AWESOME.
Peanut is so good! Just sitting there taking the abuse like a champ :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha! What a good dog Peanut is!
ReplyDeleteLike everyone else, I need some of those Oreos.
Poor Faith. Those nap pictures make me want to hug her.
ReplyDeleteAnd, OREOs. DUH, who wouldn't buy the limited edition ones?? It makes me want to go buy some to keep in my nightstand so that my SIL won't eat them all. That is how I rock at being a sister-in-law. I hide food in my nightstand. It may be a sign of a serious issue. I haven't decided yet.
BTW, this post brings me so much joy. I'm glad I'm not the only one who "rocks" at life!
Lol at, "how did they get so much deliciousness in this little cookie!" Peanut is such a good dog!
ReplyDeleteOreos are gross. Worse than normal chocolate, because it's fake chocolate.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm surprised that faith hasn't lost an arm yet.
Your baby needs fiber! That's why she's eating her crib :). Your welcome for the parenting advice. I think my year of dog ownership has really prepared me for children.
ReplyDeleteI'm the best wife ever (for real). I cook all of his meals, clean, do all the laundry, etc.
Hahaha! LOVE the video, I showed my momma and she couldn't get over how good of a dog Peanut is!
ReplyDeleteMmm, oreos...
hahahaha, I love this. I know I tell you this ALL the time, but I can't get over how cute Faith is - she is so so so cute!
ReplyDeleteHow's training going? I was tired training for a marathon - can't believe you a running a 50-miler!
I always feel a little guilty when I take a picture of Logan crying or mad, before going to pick him up. But I guess not guilty enough not to take the picture in the first place.
ReplyDeleteLast night with my husband: (although this could really be just about any night)
Me: did you take the chicken out of the freezer?
Him: crap. I forgot.
Me: Eh, why don't you just make yourself a frozen pizza. I'm too tired to defrost anything now.
I think we go home to my in-laws most weekends just so my husband can get a couple of real meals.
Also, I once fell asleep while Logan was on his activity mat playing for TWO HOURS! He didn't cry, and possibly took a nap of his own, so I guess it didn't matter, but I felt guilty anyway.
I need to get those Oreos! Deliciousness!
ReplyDeleteMy husband does the cooking and I clean up so I guess I rock to a some extent :)
I ditched the husband on our 4 year anniversary. GREAT WIFE.
ReplyDeleteI need those oreos. NOW. It's all I can think about. The waking up pictures of Faith make me feel like we'd get along great. Once she can talk. Plus the obvious aversion to dogs. We are two peas in a pod. I'm awesome at being a wife - like if I want something for dinner that I know he won't like....I just make it anyway and tell him to fend for himself.
ReplyDeleteSeriously cracking up at the conversation with your husband. Sarcasm is a language spoken fluently in our house.
ReplyDeleteFaith is such a cutie. Even with her fingers up the dog's nose.
hahaha...you and your husband are too funny. and love the video...my brothers did that to our dogs when they were babies too. OH yeah, and my crib totally had those teeth marks on them.
ReplyDeletehow am i good girlfriend? I cook for my boyfriend AND do the dishes. But he takes out the trash for me. I hate that. We even things out. Kinda. Mind requires a lot more time than his portion.
For the record, it was a satire to mirror the horrible comments she had gotten--perhaps ill-timed and it came across as sincere (it wasn't. Evidently I am not as adept at humor as you) but I in no way meant the post to be construed in such a way as to torment her for the same thing for which I so staunchly defended her. If I judged her for those things (or even you) it would defeat the entire purpose of my writing. Also, though I don't comment often I still read, every day. You are fantastic, but my feelings are a little hurt from being a private joke between you and Kate. Subtlety isn't her strong suit. Take care. As always, Faith is so adorable. -StripperMommy
ReplyDeleteIs Peanut dead? HILARIOUS.
ReplyDeleteAlso, those idyllic sleeping pictures are priceless :)
This is a great post. I win the mom of the year award daily. Usually one of the kids has some sort of issue that I can't resolve immediately.
ReplyDeleteOh poor Peanut! We have a cat that takes hair pulling and beatings and almost never complains either. And I'm a really good pony too.
ReplyDeleteI rock at being a cousin because I let them eat as much junk as they want even though it's against my better judgement because their mom says, "It's Okay." and because I really want them to like me:)
ReplyDeleteAll I have to see is a Limited Edition sign on a Ben and Jerry's flavor and you can bet it's added to my cart! I am so bad!!! Those oreos look fabulous by the way.
Fabulous photo captioning. But I think you need to teach me how to eat oreos during running. I might need lots of practice.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA I LOVE THE VIDEO!!!! Hilarious. Seriously. Dying right now. I rock at being a parent because my baby started using the iphone at 4months and already tries to grab a bottle of bear. I rock as a wife because I recently bought the hubs a massage thingy for a chair because his back hurt and then proceeded to use it the past week or two because, well, mine hurts too.
ReplyDelete