I came so close to fulfilling my mission today, only to be foiled by that vile woman once again. She may even be catching on to my overall plan! After my botched attempt last week to end it all, I had the perfect opportunity today and I had to go for it.
It all started when that vile woman took me for another one of her death marches through the neighborhood. I don't know where her compulsion comes from and the really twisted part is that she thinks she does it for my benefit. Luckily, her concern about my "recovery" made her end the march early. Once back inside, I was again subjected to drinking lukewarm water from a bowl outside, like some kind of animal!
|I am humiliated daily|
Soon after we returned, that vile woman dressed her spawn in loudly colored clothing (they think I'm color blind, the FOOLS) and left. I had faked sleeping so she wouldn't put me in that horrid BOX again and it worked. Finally, I was free to try to find a way to end it all at last! I know another spawn is coming and my existence with just one of them is awful enough, I can't be outnumbered. There is only one way out!
I hop up on the kitchen island where I know a bottle of salvation resides. I've been plotting this for over a year now by ignoring the bottle to make that vile woman think I'm not interested. In fact, I've even avoided eating any non-food items off the counter in my short life to foster a false sense of comfort in her.
I was distracted by a box of cake on the island, but NO I must focus! I have to knock lots of stuff down, but finally I find it! I guess that vile woman must know my plan because there is some sort of lock on the bottle! I work and work at it, but just as I'm about to get it, I hear the garage door open! I hide and hope the spawn will distract her enough to not notice my plan in action.
As proof to the importance of my plan, that spawn betrayed me by finding the bottle and handing it to that vile woman! Blast it all to hell!
|You win this battle, but the war will be MINE!|
End Dog's Log
Other than thwarting the dog's suicide attempts, I also took Faith to her second to last dance class. She got to wear a new outfit and new shoes, which is apparently overly exciting.
|Stand still? NEVER!|
|I'm wearing my dancing shoes!|
|So much adorable in two little feet|
|Stomping is dancing, right?|
After dance class and cleaning up the dog's mess (and condemning her to never roam free again when I'm not home), I also ran on the treadmill for a total of 6.5 miles for the day, but there was walking mixed in. For simplicity's sake, just assume that all my runs have walking mixed in at this point. I need the breaks to either catch my breath or cool off a little. Before pregnancy, I didn't count walking miles toward my weekly totals, but now I count all forward motion.
Do you count walking in your weekly mileage?
Ever have a pet with a death wish?