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| If I didn't like mental and physical anguish, why would I do a sport that gave me gifts like this? |
I do realize that I'm probably lying to myself about being able to run this whole pregnancy and this is all probably a second trimester honeymoon period induced fantasy, but I'm ok with that. I might only make it to 22 weeks and cry uncle, but I don't want to stop before I feel like my body is forcing me to slow down and only walk versus just setting a date. Another month or two of getting bigger will come with a lot of body aches, so it won't seem like such a bad idea to ease back then. Well, let's hope so anyway.
Can I just say that I really miss trail running? It's forbidden in pregnancy because of the chance of falling, so I haven't been on the trails since February. I can't wait to get back out there next winter.
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| Who could fall on this? Not me, I have the grace of a ninja cat. |
Ok, moving on from my lies, let's talk about this:
First of all: Congrats to Time Magazine for actually getting people to care about their publication, however short lived it may be for them. The key to going viral is a topless blonde, just keep that in mind for the future.
Let's start with the title: Are You Mom Enough? I'm sorry, are you implying that I should be breastfeeding my toddler to be competitive in that regard? Also, you only have to go to Pinterest to realize that moms can be crazy competitive with themselves and others without attachment parenting techniques.
I know more than one person who has breastfed their kid way past the normal cut off point, but in my understanding, they only do it at night as a soothing technique to get them to sleep. The thing about breastfeeding older kids is that you might see your little baby when you look at your kid, but everyone else sees a big kid so it's creepy to watch. That kid on the Time cover is huge (I guess the breast milk is good for growth?) and if they sit at the table and eat with a fork, it seems so out of place to still be breast feeding.
It really rubs me the wrong way when people are like "Well, this is how they do it in [fill in the blank] country and blah blah blah pretentious shit blah blah blah". You really think we should model ourselves after how they do things in a less developed country? Hell, let's get rid of this drinking water that doesn't give us the shits while we're at it too. Kids in other countries may breast feed longer because they NEED the nutrition, but here in the U.S., you can't really make that same argument.
I have similar feelings when I see a 5 year old with a pacifier out in public, so it's not like I'm anti-breast feeding. I'm just anti-not letting your kid grow up. Some kids will self wean off stuff like breast feeding and the bottle at an appropriate age, but if they don't it's up the parents to create cut-offs and propel their kids forward.
I haven't read the article inside, only because it's only available to subscribers and I'm a cheap bastard, but I read the accompanying Q&A with the chick on the cover and here are some fun facts:
1. She got sick after the birth of her son in the picture and her husband would pump her breasts for her while she slept. This boggles my mind.
2. Her mother breastfed her until she was 6 and decided to stop.
3. She's so into attachment parenting that she's homeschooling her kids (who are both breastfed, even though only one of them is biologically her own. Also, the adopted one? She got him when he was 4...and still breastfeeds him).
One thing is for sure: her son is going to love that magazine cover so much when he starts dating...if his mom ever lets him.
What are your thoughts on the Time cover?
Disgusting. That's all I have to say.
ReplyDeleteI thought she would have bigger boobs for someone who has been breast feeding since the beginning of time.
ReplyDeleteLoL I was thinking this too.
DeleteDitto!
DeleteI had the exact same thought!
DeleteYikes. Clearly this is nuts.
ReplyDeleteI think it's really inappropriate - both the advanced breastfeeding and the pacifiers past a year or two. If you can say milk, you shouldn't be getting it from a boob. Also, teeth.
ReplyDeleteChristian's favorite drunk game is "make really snarky comments on facebook to our friends who openly discuss breastfeeding their preschoolers and see how quickly he gets de-friended." I think you two would get along well.
It seems like this aggressive-attachment parenting really restricts women from having any sort of identity outside of their children. These hyper-intense mothers are doing the opposite of what seems natural to raise normal, well-adjusted kids. And further, they are so in-your-face about their choices, whether its offering titty-meals until kids are hitting puberty or not putting their kids in the kid's own bed/room. These are really personal choices, and they are doing no one a favor by aggressively pushing one side of a multifaceted debate onto others who, rightfully, may not wish to engage in debate about and/or defend their every minute parenting choice.
It sounds like your fiance and my husband would get along well :) He is not at all hesitant to share his opposing view on other people's facebook pages.
DeleteTaryn's comment made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like we have similar views. There comes a point when mommy phases pass from cute to creepy. That is all.
That cover seriously disturbs me. And the fact that it's her son makes it seem like kiddie porn to me.
ReplyDeleteIf she wants him to have breast milk that badly, then she should pump and put it in a cup.
But the BONDING...have you forgotten the BONDING?
DeleteThis is what I always wonder...fine - you want your kid to drink your breast milk, whatever. Why not pump and put it into a sippy cup? No one would be the wiser.
DeleteI can't get past "her husband pumped her breasts for her". What the ever loving crap?! Why are people so WEIRD (and not in a good way)? And breast feeding the adopted kid??? No words. I have no. Words.
ReplyDeleteI second what Emily R. Said. TEETH! I've always thought that once my future child has teeth, no more boobie time.
I cannot fathom having my husband pump for me while I sleep. For some reason, that's the part of this I have the hardest time accepting hahaha
Deletethe cover is extremely creepy.
ReplyDelete^^ and LOL about the "no more boobie time" above me. hilarious!
but i still BF despite my mother "suggesting" i quit every single day. it's OK he will be weaned before he's as big as that kid in the photo. hehe. so yeah, coming from a toddler bfing mother, the photo is creepy and unneccessary, not to mention unnatural.
1. Don't put your self on a running calendar. you'll know if and when you have to stop
ReplyDelete2. it is just an attention grab, and it is ALL over my tumblr and mommy blogs so i'm sort of over it, but all i come back to, is oooh, camo pants. just kidding. i think they should have had the kid face away, and he looks way older/bigger than 3. but she's only 26. of course she has great arms and boobs. wtf. issues? whatever.
the headline is horrid though.
Jamie Lynne actually wrote a great post about chilling out on the whole “breast is best” mantra and letting families work it out for themselves. She’s eloquent, which she proved beyond a shadow of a doubt in the Q&A TIME did with her following her controversial cover shoot:
“There seems to be a war going on between conventional parenting and attachment parenting, and that’s what I want to avoid. I want everyone to be encouraging. We’re not on opposing teams. We all need to be encouraging to each other, and I don’t think we’re doing a very good job at that.”
To each their own for the most part, I just don't think parents like this are doing their kids any favors. It's not a widely-accepted thing and it's unlikely that it will be. Do we really need to give other kids MORE reasons to pick on ours? Kids are mean :( You can't help your kids' hair color, if they have freckles or moles, if they are really short or freakishly tall, or if they need braces or talk with a lisp. Kids will find SOMETHING to make fun of everyone for. But how about we don't add fuel to the fire by showing up at school during lunch to breastfeed them in first grade??
ReplyDeleteAt then you don't have a pack a lunch for your kid? :)
DeleteThank you for answering the question I had as to whether he was really her kid or was it child molestation. Not a mom but even I know this is ridiculous!
ReplyDeleteWow. Disturbing. Do you watch Game of Thrones? I know it's just a TV show, but the breastfed prince had to be about 8 years old, nursing from his mom. Gross.
ReplyDeleteEven the characters on that show that sleep with siblings think it's fucked up.
DeleteHonestly... I feel the same about this as I do about gay marriage. Who the hell cares (and why should they) about what other people do with their lives and/or bodies if it doesn't negatively (and directly) impact their existence? Sure, this article seems like it was peppered in judgment and that's probably offensive to those who didn't choose attachment parenting, but both this post and the comments are equally judgmental *and* offensive. You don't want to breastfeed your kid past a certain age (or at all)? Don't do it. Simple solution. Imho--not worth getting so worked up over. You do make really valid points as to the lesser developed countries and nursing past the age most people in the US find to be appropriate for necessary nutrition and hydration... Aside from that...to each her own, right?
ReplyDeleteI guess I didn't make my "I don't care what people do in their homes" point well, but I really don't. The woman in this Time piece is advocating "letting people see" her breast feeding an older child as a way to get people to accept it...and in your analogy that's like gay people engaging in heavy petting in public to raise awareness.
DeleteAlso, the assertion of "breast feeding = special unique bonding" IS off putting to people who don't/couldn't breast feed. I'm fairly certain I couldn't love my kid any more than I do, formula be damned.
Oh, and also this involves children who may or may not be mentally harmed by the social stigma of being breastfed in later childhood. Children are non-consensual by nature, so the gay marriage analogy falls apart a little there.
Delete"and in your analogy that's like gay people engaging in heavy petting in public to raise awareness."
DeleteI don't think that's a good comparison. Gay marriage does not equal gay sex like breastfeeding equals breastfeeding.
But anyway... I nursed and pumped for 12.5 months, and that was a good stopping point for both of us. Tons of people I know were disgusted I was nursing a 11 or 12 month old, though. I find this cover a little off-putting, too (I haven't read the article so I can't comment on the substance), but it's hard for me to pinpoint why. I mean, people were grossed out when Angelina Jolie was breastfeeding a newborn in a magazine, too. I'm just not sure how much of our discomfort has to do with this kid's age as much as breastfeeding in general.
You should run as long as you feel compelled and comfortable doing so. No need to put a deadline on it.
ReplyDeleteThe cover was to get attention. And it did. Attachment parenting? I'd be interested in reading about it only because I am always open to learning something and if it is not for me that's okay.
Long term breast feeding. What's too long? What's wasting what God gave to provide for our children? To each, their own. I guess many moms have trouble with putting a deadline on things. I know I did in both how long through my pregnancies I would run and how long I would breast feed. I went long in both. I just avoided being on a magazine cover while doing them.
And we thank you for that :)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey!! Where are those kid's legs?!
ReplyDeletecamo jokes never get old.
but really. I dislike the whole in your face approach because it's not the way to gain acceptance. If she wants to be a weirdo and bond via boob instead of book, I guess that's her deal.
But come on. Let's just chuckle about the pants.
So weird. That's what I think about the Time cover. I mean, kids have TEETH at that age! Doesn't that hurt?
ReplyDeleteThat poor boy...I hope no one finds this when he's in high school or college.
You're SOOO controversial!
ReplyDeleteFrankly, if you want to breastfeed your kid until they're 10, go for it. My kids need someone to make fun of at school. However, I'm really not a fan of seeing it, so let's keep it in your own home.
If you have nice boobs like this lady, Feel free to whip them out in public. If you're a big ugly fatass, keep it at home where they belong.
ReplyDeleteThat's my take.
regardless of if there's a kid involved or not.
DeleteLIKE
DeleteI'm bout ta be all over that Q & A in a minute. Freaking BREASTFED her adopted kidssssssssss what the heck
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine being 4 and coming to America after being raised in an African orphanage and then your new blonde mommy is all like "SUCK ON THIS"??
DeleteI was actually just going to ask you if you still planned to quit at 20 weeks. Isn't there only one reaction to the Time cover - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW? I thought this was going to be about gay rights.
ReplyDeletethe other reaction is "I'll be in my bunk"
DeleteI actually think the whole thing is OK. We have so many hang-ups about breastfeeding in general -- we all need to just let it go. If the kid still wants to do it and she still wants to let them, then do it. Who cares?
ReplyDeleteAnd, if she thinks it's important to breastfeed her genetic son, why wouldn't she do the same for her adopted kid? Makes sense to me!
4 just seemed a little old to me to start breastfeeding, especially since it wasn't like he was used to doing it. I can understand how it's hard to stop even as your kid gets older because you see them as a baby, but that doesn't really apply here.
DeleteOMG. OMG. OMG. Her husband pumped her breasts while she slept?? What the hell else does he do to her while she sleeps. Creeps. Who's the new editor over at Time now? Maury Povich?
ReplyDeleteI am offended by the title. Am I mom ENOUGH? I am more than enough to raise my kid the way I intend to. And while I am not judgy about people who BF after 1 yr, I do judge those who are still BF their kids at THAT age. I am sorry, I personally think it is weird. And I LOLed with your comment about that poor boy when he's older!!
ReplyDeleteI think the cover is doing a huge disservice to women who breastfeed and parents who believe in attachment parenting. It's just a media ploy to attract attention but I don't think it's the right attention. Why did they pick a mom who is on the far end of the spectrum to represent the idea? Why not pick a family that is a little more "normal"? It makes me think about that episode in "Sex in the City" when Carrie was on the cover of a magazine looking all rough and old. It was a big deal but then it blew over. This too shall pass....
ReplyDeleteIf they picked a normal woman, no one would be talking about it!
DeleteI have some opposing views that I'll keep to myself about your bf views but what I cannot argue is the last paragraph. I can't stop laughing!!!! btw, I stopped bf at 10 months (but addi ate breastmilk till 15 months) so I'm not creepy or anything lol. I just think to each his own.
ReplyDeletethe "are you mom enough" thing...that's BS.
I think it has more to do with the woman's emotional issues than the kids nutrition, and would rather the long term breastfeeders to come out and say "i love being needed" then to go on and on about nutritional BS. Sorta like those mothers that home school, talk about control issues!
ReplyDeletePlus I hate the whole competitive mothering thing, I have heard plenty of women talk about how amazing they are because they gave birth in a bathtub, breastfed their kid till 7, coslept, etc. It's the reason I don't do mommy groups, it brings out my rage.
YES. I was thinking "Who is she really doing this for?" and it reminded me of this show I saw once when the mom didn't want to stop BFing her 6 year old because then she'd have to start dieting again.
DeleteI care less about the issue and more about how awkward that photo shoot must have been.
ReplyDeleteIt's not ok how many times I have seen that image in the last 24 hours. Also, I'm pretty sure having a child and a blog means you are REQUIRED to cover this topic, right?
ReplyDeleteI'm not a parent and certainly wouldn't judge any mother for raising/feeding their children however they want. End of story.
That being said...that picture is not ok.
All the obesity in this country, and this woman has found a way to control her weight, and you want to jump all over her for it....
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you brought up the pacifier comparison, my thoughts exactly. I have the biggest problem with the photo. I usually subscribe to "you fuck up your kid, I'll fuck up mine".....but keep it off a mag cover, she's asking for it. If your kids can talk, walk, name your boobs.....stop, really. My hubby flips his shit if I give the boys a sippy cup over a regular cup, since it's "baby". In my defense, it was grape juice.....I didn't feel like taking the carpet stain risk that day.
ReplyDeleteSo we get TIME (It was something ridiculous like $10/yr) so I had the pleasure of reading the article today and there are so many things in it that make my head explode. There was all of one sentence about the subject on the cover (The Q & A you read has far more info about her), otherwise the article was a biography of the Dr behind attachment parenting. But a cover with a picture of a 72 year old man doesn't sell magazines; a 26-yr old boob does. And the reasons behind his theory are not based on relevant research (extreme cases of neglect/trauma, not your average "cry-it-out" parenting), or research with humans even (rats). Also, the Dr's wife claims that some relative was colicky as a baby and was left to "cry it out" and as a result is now mentally ill (despite mentioning elsewhere that schizophrenia runs in the family) therefore she vowed never to leave her 8 (!) children to cry. Correlation does not equal causation!!!! and genetics probably played a greater role in that relative becoming mentally ill, not the parenting style.
ReplyDeleteOther thoughts as a non-parent:
-I feel like having your child sleep in your bed is going to seriously negatively impact you and your husband's relationship.
-I feel Dr Sears (or TIME's portrayal) really minimizes the father's role in this style of parenting
-My understanding of this parenting style-- based on the article-- is that the mother is to give in to the child's every need immediately, instead of raising them to be more independent little people. I imagine this might also result in the mother totally losing her own identity, and will not be healthy for mom or child later on.
-The Dr was also quoted as having said that moms returning to work don't understand how disruptive it is to their babies and that the babies are not being cared for "in the way God designed." Mothers should start home businesses instead of going to work. (I'm all for stay at home moms, but I know many people who can't swing it financially. The Dr's view seems a little sexist).
/End Rambling