It's not just the animals you see on runs that bother me, it's also the ones that find their way into our garage and yard (and sometimes the house). For example, we have a ton of these that live in our garage:
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| I only scream when they run over my foot |
The problem I have with skinks is the same as I have with mice: they surprise you when they scurry out of nowhere and they are vaguely creepy. Unlike mice, skinks actually have a purpose because they eat bugs so I don't put out traps for them or try to get rid of them at all. Well, I don't try, but some of them have death wishes:
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| They are blue on the inside, how gross is that?? |
The guilt of realizing I killed that skink is what led me to ask my husband to not kill this when we found it in our garage:
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| I told you that living in southern MD is awesome |
My husband came home from work on Friday and said "Uh, we have a snake in the garage." and I immediately said "Kill it!". He replied "Well, that should be easy since I think it's a baby one" and my pregnancy addled brain made me say "A baby?? Don't kill it! Let's move it and sing 'Born Free' as it slithers off to freedom!"
It turns out that moving a snake isn't nearly as easy as Steve Irwin lead me to believe. Instead of scooping the snake up in a shovel (it seemed like a good idea at the time), we just ended up making it crawl beneath the tool cabinet. By "we" I mean, I was watching my husband try to move the snake and offering helpful comments like "He's getting away. Have you noticed that he's getting away?".
We hoped that the snake would have just moved along, but it was back again tonight. My husband was out picking up dinner and he saw the snake before he left, and when he got back he tried to use mob tactics to convince the snake to vacate. I wasn't there to stop him, so he tried to kill it with the shovel but missed his mark and probably just pissed it off a lot. At least he pissed it off in the direction of out of the garage, but I'm guessing it can get back inside if it wants. Also, now the snake has beef with us so that's not an improvement on the situation.
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| This is what happens when snakes have a beef with you |
I'm hoping that the snake decides to move out (but I'm also concerned about whatever he was eating taking over instead), because I don't think my husband will miss again. I'm lobbying for letting him live in there and naming him something fun like "Howie" but for some reason my husband is more pro-kill than me. He's blaming the hormones.
As a side note, it's a Black Rat snake and not venomous at all (we do have venomous snakes around here) and they eat icky stuff that I don't like anyway...like those damn skinks. Besides, the snake is always on my husband's side of the garage so it's easy for me to be the brave one. I have an irrational fear that if we kill it that Momma Snake or one of its friends is going to come find us, but snakes don't have friends, right?
How would you handle a snake taking up residence in your garage?
Uhhh I'd totally freak. And defer to my husband on how to remove it. And probably peek through the door to watch. While wincing.
ReplyDeleteStill haven't encountered a rattler while running, and I'm ok with that.
We've got lizards all over our yard and one was hanging out in the garage for a while. I'm surprisingly ok with lizards though. We saw a blue-tailed one almost like the one you pictured while hiking a while back!
it's "venomous", not "poisonous".
ReplyDeleteI bet some of your hick neighbors would know how to cook that snake up real good like.
You're supposed to tell me corrections in gchat instead of the comments so my readers can continue to believe that I am infallible.
DeleteKara's not infallible? That's it. I'm done reading this blog.
Deleteyou weren't online. Sorry to pull back the curtain.
DeleteI'd be avoiding the garage...for a good while even after I thought it is gone. When we first moved into our house, we had a group of black snakes living around the air conditioning unit thing in the backyard. Anytime I went back there until we got them to move out I walked around in a very wide arch around the area.
ReplyDeletewe found a lot of snakes in our backyard in Phoenix and just put them in old fish tanks. Then one of the cats started going in and eating their heads off and leaving their dead snake bodies in my brother's bed. It was pretty awesome.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds tremendously awesome. Clearly Kara needs to promise she'll train her cat to do this, and no doubt she can have one.
DeleteUmmm...with the size of that snake, I'd worry about my 8lb cat. Ha. I have yet to see any skinks in these parts, but my "wildlife" in urban NOVA is limited to rogue squirrels.
ReplyDeleteI'm so lucky that our cats kill any skinks that make it inside. And then vomit them up for me. So sweet.
ReplyDeletePregnancy has clearly addled your brain. That thing needs to go!!
ReplyDeleteWhat would I do? Slam all the doors to lock in the garage, then stick a post-it to the door, informing my husband that he has a new project. I do the same thing with large spiders and they all disappear.
I have a good husband.
Snake in my garage = husband that shrieks like a little girl. I am the snake remover in this house. (when and if one should appear) Thankfully, it's too cold here in Maine for snakes to want to be around much so we are pretty safe.
ReplyDeleteWth is a skink? Never heard of it. My son would adopt it.
Oh my gosh, that is SO disgusting!! It wasn't your fault but wow you got punished having to clean that little lizard guy up :( How weird is it that I didn't even know what a skink was? I thought they were just all called lizards.
ReplyDeleteOmg. Unbelievable! We had one in our screened in porch and luckily it found its way out.
ReplyDeleteBlack rat snake still have teeth. Snake bites hurt. So I'd probably use a more aggresive relocation plan but I usually won't kill critters. And I have to say, if it came back it has a food source so you might want to think about snake adoption. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI'd have to call someone else for help - my husband hates snakes and I would be the one offering advice from the safety of the house.
ReplyDeleteI love that you discussed baby hormones and blue entrails in the same post.
I would move out of that house so fast. One Autumn, we had a mouse problem. The little guy ran over my foot while I was making a grilled cheese. I literally ran out of my house and went to the nearest store (1 mile away, because I do not live in rural southern maryland) and I came back to set the traps. Then I literally ran out of the house again because I figured as soon as they were set, I would immediately here them snapping closed over the necks of the rodents. We didn't catch them in traps, but my husband corralled one by fashioning a cardboard chute into a laundry basket and very humanely released it back into the wild...which may I remind you, is not all that wild.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I don't think I'd ever go into my garage again. Ever. A freaking snake that big out there? YUCK! You need to move to the suburbs and pronto!
ReplyDeleteSnakes outside..ok
ReplyDeleteSnakes in my house or garage (if I had one) not good, but I wouldn't kill it either if it were just a harmless baby snake. Spiders on the other hand all need to die if they dare invade my territory freaky things anyway
That picture of the snake freaked me the fuck out.
ReplyDeleteBut, I'm cool with snakes that won't kill me. I just grew up with rattlers, so my initial reaction is OH FUCK.
I'm never visiting your house again.
ReplyDeleteWe see these guys a lot - during races, out in the woods, where they belong.
ReplyDeleteThis weekend, I also ran into my first rattlesnake. The rattling sound is a lot less subtle than I expected!
Holy hell. I agree with Rose. I have the heebie jeebies just look at that picture. I'd be calling critter control to come get that thing....and I'd also be hiding out in someone else's house until it was gone!
ReplyDeleteOh sweet lord. I hope NoVa really is an entirely different world from southern MD. I cannot handle that type of wildlife.
ReplyDeleteAt first glance, I thought the title of this blog was "Skank Killer," which made me wonder if you were actually dressing up like a skank and then killing things, and I was super excited to read about the "skank killer" adventures. But then I re-read it, and saw it was "skink killer." Nuts.
ReplyDeleteThe snake made it all okay, though. That is crazypants. Maybe you can make a Britney Spears "Slave 4 U" video gif (with the snake) but put your head on it. Or maybe Faith's head. Just so people can get an idea of how big that thing is. It's flipping huge.
The end.
Oh my god. I'm getting the creepy crawlies just looking at the snake picture!
ReplyDeleteEw. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew! So I found a tiny little gartner snake in my backyard last week and totally freaked out. That snake looks massive! I told my mom to kill the snake, but instead she tried to shoo it toward the lake with a stick and got it really ticked off. And then the next day my brother found a snake by the lake and it was longer. I think I might not go outside at all anymore.
ReplyDeleteSnakes totally creep me out.
You need to kill that thing before it gets in your car or house! I hate snakes!
ReplyDeletethat's nuts. i couldn't sleep at night knowing that was in my garage!
ReplyDeleteUmm yeah. I'd never go into the garage until someone got rid of it and showed me the proof. ICK!!
ReplyDeleteOK, OK,....wait a minute. Aren't you like a black belt in Kung Fu..? I'm sure you were WAYYY past just snatching the pebble out of the master's hand before you moved on to something truly challenging, like parenting. Why didn't you just walk up to the snake, snatch it by the head, and throw it down the street..? There is no way that snake could possible be faster than your cat-like reflexes...is there..? :-)
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, that snake has to go. I would have an "aggressive relocation program" as well. In pieces in the a trash bag on the curb. Rat snakes are wicked fast and mean. A nasty bite (not to mention probably scarred for life) is a real possibility.
I HATE snakes!! I live in Northern AB, Canada we don't really have anything like that here, I've seen the occasional blackbear on walks but my dogs are pretty intimidating so they don't really worry me.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on baby by the way! I've been out of the loop for awhile, baby bumps looks good on you :))
I'm not afraid of snakes normally but I'd definitely completely panic and become totally hysterical and hide under the bed until Eric told me it was gone.
ReplyDeleteI hate snakes. If I found one in the garage, I'd want my husband to kill it, but I think he's too much of a wimp. And I certainly am too much of a girl to kill it. So I guess we'd just have to move, haha!
ReplyDeleteSNAKES!!! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT F'ING THING!!!!! Will reading your blog bring on snakes to my house?? Ohhhh, I hate snakes. I bet snakes have a ton of friends.
ReplyDeleteI don't get why everyone is freaking out. It's just a non-venomous snake. My sister keeps skinks and snakes as pets, though. Supposedly her skink is bigger than C was at birth. I didn't know they got that big.
ReplyDelete