I'm using the term "celebrity" loosely and if they can secure the cover of magazine, that means I lump them in that category, even if their only claim to fame is getting knocked up at 16 and letting MTV film their lives. Most celebrities pick awful names for their babies and there isn't much of a chance for overlap. Until today. Enter Kourtney Kardashian (ugh, even typing Kourtney with a "K" is painful for me) and her new baby, Penelope Scotland.
It's like Kourtney realized her family is full of trashbags and whores and in a vain attempt to salvage her kid's future, she desperately grasped for the two fanciest words she could think of at the moment.
It's not bad enough that she named her first kid Mason after my alma mater George Mason University, now she has stolen my first choice girl name of Penelope. She's obviously obsessed with me and I can rightfully take this as a personal slight.
|Tough shit cupcake|
Granted we have a list with 6 girl names we like, but Penelope was the one I liked the best and now it's dead to me. I can't have a kid with the same name as a freaking Kardashian, especially within 6 months of each other. It sucks because I really liked that name. I sincerely doubt that Kourtney picked it for the same reasons as me (I love Homer's Odyssey), so it seems like she should have stuck to the celebrity tradition of picking ridiculous names like Prana or something.
It's not just that Kourtney used my favorite name, the worst part is now all dumbasses who actually watch her show sincerely (and not just hate watch it, which is totally legit) will start naming their babies Penelope and the next thing you know, it will be just as trailer park as Krystal or Rylee. Sure, this all may sound like the rantings of a crazy person, but I can blame hormones for my high level of upset over this whole Penelope debacle.
|Man, she is such a natural beauty.|
I tried to explain to my husband about the horror of a Kardashian hijacking of my favorite name and his response "Is that the chick who had the really hairy baby? The Wolfman baby? Well, we can't name our kid after that". He does have a point. When I look at Mason, I think "He looks like the littlest member of Hezbollah!", not "How adorable!"
|It's their fault for putting him in pinstripes|
Also, let's not forget that Kourtney not only let E! film her birth, she PULLED OUT HER OWN FUCKING BABY. Yeah, that's right. She doesn't need a doctor, she just did it herself. Who knows how she topped that this time.
|Who does this??|
So one sister's claim to fame is that her mom orchestrated the release of her sex tape, the other one resembles Sasquatch in heels, and this one yanks babies out of her own cootch. That pretty much sums up why "Penelope" was taken off our short list of baby names this morning.
I'm not against all celebrity baby names. If I like the celebrity, I don't have a problem sharing a name with them. For example, Buffy is good at naming babies:
|Buffy can do no wrong|
Now I'm worried that if I pick another favorite name that some other trashbag celebrity is going to steal it and ruin it. At least Snooki is having a boy, so I'm safe there.
Have you ever had a name "ruined" for you?