And I'm out

I don't remember everything about my pregnancy with Faith, but I do clearly remember hitting a point toward the end when my patience was just gone. By "patience" I don't mean waiting calmly for labor, I mean my ability to deal with people in a civil manner. I can tell it's getting bad when my inner monologue is just me talking myself down from saying the bitchy things that are on the tip of my tongue.

Example: At the dentist last week, the chick who was the hygienist's assistant (who even knew that was an actual job) said "You're so small to be due so soon!" and I almost said "Yes, well we don't all take pregnancy or wearing scrubs to work as carte blanche to go hog wild on eating". I felt bad about thinking that for about 3 seconds until she followed up her statement with "Well, I hope you have a healthy baby!". Yes, I also hope my too small fetus will be healthy. What an interesting thing to say to a complete stranger.

Nothing makes me feel better than typing up a rant, so here is a list of things that are annoying me today:

My beautiful new floors. Now, the floors themselves aren't the problem, it's my two dependents that are causing the issues.

Dependent? You're the one who is going to need Depends in 2-3 weeks

Faith is afraid of the new floors. I had no idea that it could bother her, but she won't walk into that room. She keeps screaming about the fireplace, but we haven't had the gas fireplace on in days. She has asked "Fire? Fire? Off? Off?" about 114 times today and I had the patience to answer her about 4 of those times. I even gave her the fireplace remote and told her that she was Goddess of the Fire now and stop asking me about the freaking fire already.

The dog is sadly smarter about the new floors and isn't afraid at all, nor is she slipping at all (many people ask if she slips on the new floors). I wish she was afraid of the floors instead of Faith because the constant sound of "CLICK CLICK CLICK" as she walks across the room is driving me batty. I haven't slept much for about 3 days now (pregnancy aches combined with Faith having a bad night last night) and I'm blaming some of my patience shortage on that. Our area rug arrives tomorrow, so hopefully I won't have to resort to the dog version of this:

The presidential election. I know I have a master's degree in Political Science and that might lead you to believe that I enjoy politics, but you'd be wrong. I've been fighting the impulse to de-friend and unfollow every single person who posts stupid political shit on social media, even if they are related to me. By "stupid shit" I don't mean "things I don't agree with", I mean things that aren't based in fact and are the kind of things that people who take stock in the power of chain mail also believe in.

Since I live in MD, we aren't a swing state, but some of our TV channels are Virginia based and I'm so glad I'm not living in a swing state for this election.

I could really care less who people vote for, it's their own decision and it's up to them to educate themselves on the issues. There is NO POINT of posting crap on Facebook or Twitter because you won't change anyone's mind. You'll just annoy people, especially your easily annoyed 9 month pregnant Facebook friends.

Maternity clothes. I was trying to take a stupid picture of my expanding waistline and I noticed an issue:

No, the issue isn't my inability to be in the bathroom with toddler assistance. 

I had left the house like this and had no idea

Why design a maternity shirt that isn't long enough to cover a pregnant belly? That's right Liz Lange for Target, I'm calling you out. Everyone is always like "Oh, you're so small!" so I assume women who carry larger have this issue too. I don't need to be flashing the "secret belly panel!" of my maternity bottoms to the world. The world called and they said I'm right, no one wants to see that shit.


Let's all hope I get more sleep tonight and wake up in a more sunshine-y mood tomorrow, or else I may start commenting on people's Facebook statuses and tweets that really just need to be left alone.


Have you unfriended or hid anyone on social media (Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, whatever) because of political postings?