Anus is a Funny Word

The internet is full of so many hilarious things, yet I feel like it always has the capacity to top itself. If you've been a reader of this blog for any amount of time, then you know that I like to use Google to find images to illustrate a point or just for shits and giggles. No one ever says anything about them other than "Where do you FIND this stuff?" and then I refuse to discuss my trade secrets (which is pretty much just using Google images, but shhhh).

You probably already knew my "secret"

Yesterday an email hit my inbox with this subject line: "Use of Dog Anal glands image" and I just knew my day was about to increase in awesomeness. This is the email:

It's funny how adding "ASAP" to a request can make it seem so bitchy, right? The post referred to in the email was from back in March, so I had to go look at it to refresh my memory. I know, it's sad that the time I wrote about dog anal glands slipped my mind, but it happens.

Once I glanced at the image I had used, I laughed at the idea that this lady apparently has the skill to pick her dog's anus out of a line up. If you click on this link and look for the white dog in the first line of results, you'll see "darling Berkeley"'s bung hole. In all honestly when I first found the picture in Google images, I picked it because it was the least graphic one in the first line of results and I even thought it was a drawing, like from a textbook or something.

My response:

I'm not normally so bitchy on email, but the tone in the initial email didn't make me feel especially cooperative. I actually assumed I wouldn't get a response and that the first email was some kind of bizarre spam, like that time I "won" the Ontario lottery, but with more dog butt.

When I woke up this morning, I had this lovely gem waiting for me in my inbox:

I'm sorry, but did this lady just admit to taking photos of her dog's anus and then DRAWING things on it? Heaven forbid that someone else should benefit from her artistic dog anus skills.

Again, with the use of ASAP.  Blame it on pregnancy, blame it on my inner raging bitch, but I decided to fuck with this lady at this point.

Please note that I say I'm taking the picture down, but it is in the last paragraph and reading comprehension is so hard for some people. Also, a 30 second google search showed me that other websites were using "her" picture (like that search link I used above), so unless  her new full time job is harassing people about her dog's butt shot, she's pretty much shit out of luck in protecting the anal integrity of darling Berkeley.

Don't worry, she responded to my fucking with her in a calm and collected manner:

I am sure that someone, somewhere is going to be THRILLED to hear your complaints about your dog's anus pictures being misused online.

After that email, she blocked me from responding so she sadly will never see my response:

Of course I took the offending image off my blog, but instead of replacing it with a different, hopefully less "darling" anus photo, I just explained why my dear readers will be forever left in the dark in their understanding of the location of dog anal glands. I'm now even more hopeful that she filed an actual complaint of "Dog Lick Baby World Misusing Dog Anus Photo" because when they look for the image, that's what they'll find instead.

I did find the perfect product for this lady who obviously spends a lot of time thinking and caring about her dog's butt.

Yes, really

Yes, that is a real product and no, I don't know why anyone would need it.

You'll have to excuse me now, I have to go send angry emails to people about this picture which clearly resembles my dog in a very un-ladylike position:

Geez, she's a GIRL. I'm so offended. 

*Not actually Peanut...I think. I don't know, I can't see enough of her anus to be sure.