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| My goofball dog, I'm so proud |
Obviously we adore Peanut and just joke about how awful she is...for the most part. Then we have nights like last night when she tries to earn that coveted "Worst Dog Ever" award.
Yes, it's the perfect storm of disgusting and inconvenient. We've been really unsuccessful in breaking her of the lovely poop eating habit, mostly because lately she poops and then whips right around and eats it...steaming hot. For some reason that is so much grosser to me than when she used to let it age for a few days before she chowed down. I guess she figured out that it's tastier when served warmed? Or more likely, she figured out that's the only way to avoid someone "stealing" her poop snacks from her.
I was up at 1:30am with her because she was doing that pre-puke lip smacking that dogs do, but I guess that wasn't everything because then at 4am we awoke to the lovely sound of a dog yakking in her crate. If you think vomit or poop is gross, then this stuff would rock your world because it's like the worst of both worlds. I'm so glad we got a house with a utility sink.
After we got everything cleaned up (she puked on the stairs on her way out...on the white carpeted stairs), I lay awake worrying that she was really sick because the last time she vomited that much, she almost died. She was all bent out of shape because I took the memory foam out of her crate and made her lay on an old towel instead (I am so mean) that she was restless and whiny the rest of the night.
Key difference between practice children and real children: I have been resentful of the dog ruining my sleep all day. If Faith had been up vomiting, I would be like "Poor kid! I hope she feels ok!" but for the dog I'm like "You better not pull this shit again tonight".
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| I'm not making any promises |
Speaking of actual children, I was pretty close to selling my first born to the Gypsies because she fought nap time for over two hours today. Ain't nobody got time for that.
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| Mommy, I looked it up in a book and you actually DO have time for that |
At least my unborn child is cooperating so far. I had my 36 week appointment this morning and got confirmation that she is head down. For some reason I was really worried that she wasn't because she feels like she's laying sideways in there, but thankfully I'm not right. It must just be the way she stretches out her long legs (the ultrasound tech at 22 weeks remarked on the length of her legs, so I'm assuming they are still notable). I'm so glad she's not transverse after all because C sections terrify me. Today's appointment begins my month of going to the doctor every week. I'm grateful that Faith loves that place, mostly for their giant fish tank and generous attitude toward doling out stickers to toddlers.
I tried to go outside for a walk/run today, but it was really hot and humid and really buggy. My fly-phobic kid was falling apart before we even got off our street, so I bagged that idea and hit the treadmill instead. Running was really uncomfortable today so I did 5 miles at a brisk walking pace with an incline. That's actually a really good workout and I get just as sweaty as a run. Maybe that's because I'm carrying some extra weight, it's hard to say if that's universally applicable.
What's your attitude if a pet disrupts your sleep? Do you have sympathy for them or are you shaking your fist at them like me? Or are you smart enough to not have a pet (or have a simple one like a fish)?
I keep thinking that aint nobody got time to make such whiny blog posts, but then I read these and stand corrected.
ReplyDeleteI'm allowed to be whiny this month. It's in my contract.
DeleteI didn't sign anything.
DeleteI really wish you could see my WHAT THE FUCK face as I read this post. Obviously, smart enough not to have a pet. The idea of cleaning up poop vomit in the middle of the night...I just can't even.....
ReplyDeleteNot all dogs are as batshit as Peanut. Bungee has never eaten her own poop.
DeleteObviously you need to let Bungee spend some quality time with Peanut, to learn skillz.
Deletefor awhile hawk was in the habit of waking me up at 1AM to "play". i wasn't so enthused. at least when he needs to puke he gives us a 20-seconds heads up. he makes this dramatic pre-puke noise which allows us to get him to the bathroom or kitchen so it's easy to clean up. i'm still not happy though.
ReplyDeleteAIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO DAT! Man, I'll be singing that song for the rest of the night now!
ReplyDeleteAnd seriously, Peanut needs to stop that because that is absolutely disgusting....although I'm wicked curious as to the appeal :)
the cats are champions at the late night puke and rally. And then they want to romp at 3 am, so come up on my nightstand and tap me with their paws until i pet them. I would be mad, but it's pretty adorable.
ReplyDeleteI'd have lovely fur lined slippers instead of cats if that happened often.
DeleteNo wonder Peanut pukes, she eats it steaming to. There are so many things wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteI was so so sad when my kids gave up nap time, I know I wasn't ready for it.
I'm going to be sad when it goes away, but she is so far from being ready. It's just school throws her off. This is our Wednesday tradition now, haha
DeleteObviously you need to feed Peanut less delicious food. It's apparently so good, she wants to eat it twice.
ReplyDeleteMust be nice to be in that 1%.
I love being elite.
DeleteAhhhh, good ol' Sweet Brown.
ReplyDeleteMy dogs have done some nasty shit before, but... *GAG*
I think my favorite is when they eat too many strings off of their rope, which creates a "dangler" when they poop. It's like a poop tampon that GUESS WHO gets to help pull out.
"Poop tampon" is my new favorite phrase.
DeleteYour blog has now officially killed any desire I had to have either kids or dogs. ;)
DeleteOh Peanut, that's nasty! Lucky is an angelic little sleeper but Sasha is not. She loooves waking up at 5am and in case you didn't know avocado and dogs do not mix. That makes for a rough morning waking up to poop and throw up.
ReplyDeleteDid you submit that photo to the dog shaming website? My dog sleeps on our bed because of of a ridiculous series of events and we haven't been able to break the habit. She creates a pretty nasty dutch oven on a regular basis, so I'm afraid to roll over and move the covers. I shake my fist, unless she's recovering from one of her many surgeries.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't make it 2 days with Peanut in bed with me. I can barely stand to share it with my husband and I like him a whole lot more :)
DeleteWTF was it with kids fighting nap time yesterday? Charlotte screamed for half an hour straight rather than just going to sleep. I'm glad you probably don't need a c-section. I'm feeling rather bitter about these charming adhesions that cause me pain every time I exercise. Have you tried the pills that make dog poop taste awful (supposedly)? We used to feed them to the cats to try to get the dogs to stop eating their poop.
ReplyDeleteThose pills have a disclaimer on them "Not effective on beagles or hounds" so I haven't even bothered trying them.
DeleteI would be so pissed off if a pet woke me up because of vomiting up something that I told him not to eat.
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for Bungee when she's sick, but if she kept me up all night I'll be pissed, too. Peanut really does have some "special" issues.
ReplyDeleteMy dog used to eat her poo, so I just started to always carry a poo bag in my pocket, and any time she goes I just pick it up right away. That solves the poo eating problem!
ReplyDeleteI do that when we're out on a walk, but she goes out into the yard and I have a hard time stalking her from the window because the toddler always seems to provide distraction. I think they are plotting against me.
DeleteI've cleaned up recycled poop vomit. You are correct that it is the most vile thing ever. The dogs waking us up while sleeping puts me in the worst mood ever. We go in cycles where one likes to go outside in the middle of the night (dog door) and just start barking. Bet our neighbors love us. Trying to get a dog back inside in the middle of the night to throw them in the basement is fun.
ReplyDeleteThat is SO gross. Ew, Peanut. EW.
ReplyDeleteWe don't have dogs. Or anything really. A bamboo plant that I'm slowly killing (3 down, 1 to go). I love dogs, but every time we think about getting one, I think it's too much. When we have a yard, we'll do it...the apartment is just too small. Plus if the dog got sick in the middle of the night, I'd have to stand in the parking lot with him, rather than putting him outside.
That's a key dog/kid difference. When dogs are annoying, you can lock them out/in a garage. You can't do that to kids.
One of our hounds likes to wake us up at crazy hours by whining outside our bedroom door (and she has a dog door so not like she needs to go out). I stop her whining by giving her treats, which means she now knows whining = treats. And this is why I would be a horrible parent.
ReplyDeleteyikes. I really don't get that poop eating thing. My family has had 3 different dogs when I was growing up and only 1 of them eats poop. He follows the cat around waiting for cat poop to eat. It's so nasty! He used to do that with the bigger dog too. He likes it hot I guess.
ReplyDeleteOk "shit-puke" is possibly the most disgusting thing I ever heard - ewwww...thank god you're not in first trimester sickness...gah!
ReplyDeleteTo be perfectly honest, after going through a sleepless newborn with a barky dog, I never looked at her (my dog) the same ever again. I think there will always be a certain amount of resentment I will never heal from going through such severe sleep deprivation and having her startle awake my baby when he did finally fall asleep. It was a special kind of torture. I still love her to bits but I will never know if it was her crazytown barking during such a tough time or if it was an inevitable dropping in the family "pecking order" once I had offspring, but my feelings toward her are different than they were pre-baby!
I guess there is a silver lining to not having a yard and having to pick up my dog's poop when I walk her - she doesn't even have a chance to eat. I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to if she could though!
ReplyDeleteI also lack sympathy when the dog wakes at night if something is wrong.
I sleep with ear plugs in now to stop the dogs waking me. Best thing I've ever done because my husband now has to deal with all the night excursions (there really aren't that many). I did so many nights up with kids it's only fair that he takes his turn.
ReplyDeleteGreat news about the baby. It's nice to know that he's compliant already.
I don't like it when anyone disrupts my sleep, even my kids:) I used to have a dog that ate poop too. Yuck! Puked up poo is the worst. I would always gag and almost puke myself when I had to clean it up. Glad the baby is cooperating:)
ReplyDeleteI would have more sympathy for my cat when he wakes me in the middle of the night puking if he weren't puking because he'd eaten either some of my herbs (apparently cats love chives?) or yarn. Also if he didn't occasionally puke in my bed.
ReplyDeleteMaybe that's why you'd be more sympathetic if Faith was up in the night puking...she'd actually be sick from a virus, not sick because she ate her poop.
My daughter's class takes alphabetical turns being "star of the week" and this week is her turn. So she has to do this little "self bio" worksheet that includes drawing a picture of her family. She told me, "I'm going to draw my dog on there." I said, "But Ruthie we don't have a dog." She looked at me solemnly and said, "But I'm going to draw the dog we're going to get."
ReplyDeletePoint taken.