Things I suck at:
Cutting toddler hair. Remember this?
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| How could you forget this?? |
After that little incident, I realized that I should never get near human hair with scissors ever again (I still think I'm a pretty good dog and horse groomer, but maybe the standards are just lower). Faith's bangs took a long time to grow out, but they were finally in need of a trim so I did the right thing: I outsourced:
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| What is going to happen and why am I wearing a towel cape? |
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| Mommy, why is this lady stealing my hair? |
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| A lollipop and a pink comb?? This hair cut thing isn't half bad after all. |
I took her to my hair stylist and she was able to not only trim her bangs, but neaten it up all over. I'm really excited that Faith doesn't have a tiny rat tail any more. The best part was that she didn't fuss at all because that could have been really embarrassing considering it's not a kid-centric hair salon.
Cooking/Baking. I've mentioned it on the blog before, like the time I added the wrong extract to cinnamon buns or that time I melted plastic in the oven. Or how about that time I forgot to take out the neck when I roasted a turkey? It's not that I don't have the baseline skills to make edible food, it's just that I'm really, really absent minded and careless in the kitchen.
I had four overripe bananas so I decided to make Faith some banana bread because that seemed like a better plan than tossing out the bananas. I used Kari's recipe because Faith loves that stuff and gets so excited to have "CAKE!" for breakfast. I've made it before without incident, so it's probably not Kari's fault. Probably.
Life lesson: Smoked banana bread will probably never catch on, even though I feel like this guy would try it:
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| BBQ Banana Bread? So edgy! |
I didn't put it in the right size pan (because I have shit for brains) and it overflowed and it resulted in a lovely oven fire. There is nothing like a cozy fall afternoon with a roaring fire in your oven, right?
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| You can't blame this bad smell on me for once |
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| Not actually edible |
My takeaway here is that I should have just thrown the stupid bananas away.
Faith wasn't pleased with the lack of banana bread.
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| Geez Mommy, learn to FOCUS! |
What's one thing you know you suck at?
Are there different size loaf pans? I would have screwdriver that up too. My issue is losing my keys and forgetting to close the car door...seriously? How can I screw that up so often!
ReplyDeleteI forget to close the door out the garage all the time. I don't know why that is so challenging for me! :)
DeleteI'm sorry, I got confused at the part where you're not perfect.
ReplyDeleteThere are four light switches at the front door, and for the life of me I cannot figure out which is the right one to flick when I open the door at night. It would be funny if it wasn't such a small, pathetic thing to learn.
I was in a house once that had labels on every single light switch, so you aren't alone.
DeleteThat last picture is pretty much the best.
ReplyDeleteI am still trying to recover from the fact you are not perfect. Give me a moment.
ReplyDeleteI pretty much suck at baking. My hubby usually has to take over so things come out some semblance of unburned!
My husband avoids cooking and has never baked, so I'm on my own haha
Deletei suck at keeping a clean house. i'm always scrambling to clean it up if we have guests coming over. there's always random crap, like drill bits and underwear laying around from my husband.
ReplyDeleteDrill bits and underwear? Interesting imagery.
DeleteI leave my keys in my door at home ALL THE TIME. The nice maintenance guys at our apartment complex just knock on the door to remind me. I usually have my hands full and just forget.
ReplyDeleteI also suck at saying no. I'm a people pleaser at heart, so my initial reaction to everything is "yes" and then I later regret not thinking it through.
Sorry your house smells. I lit my microwave on fire last year...it smelled for like 2 days!
Thank you for not making me feel alone in the "Causing Appliances to Burst into Flames" club. :)
Deleteguarantee it doesn't smell as bad as a plastic cutting board.
DeleteThose of you who think Kara's all wonderful and poops rainbows have obviously never met her.
ReplyDeleteSo here's her address:
-------redacted-------
-----redacted, MD-----
---edited by kara-----
Go visit her, or at least stare through her window with high-powered binoculars. You'll see quite quickly that there's nothing to praise her for.
I really do poop rainbows, but most people don't get the pleasure of viewing that miracle.
DeleteWhat the fuck, you edited my comment?
DeleteJerk.
I'll just email everyone your address individually.
I can SO relate to the cutting kids hair thing .... I watched a video on youtube and thought "hey this is easy" ..... eeeerrrrrrmmmmm I leave it to the professionals now :-)
ReplyDeleteIt looks so easy, but it's much harder to do it right than I thought!
DeleteI actually did cut Charlotte's hair, but I was just taking off her little rat tail. Bangs are for professionals.
ReplyDeleteI'm always driving off with the garage door still open. I'm incredibly lucky that I live in a very safe neighborhood because I am too stupid to function.
I've done the thing where you hit the button to close the garage, but identically hit it twice so it closes and then reopens. Apparently that's challenging for me too.
DeleteI suck at cooking. Not that I'm bad, I just can't be bothered. It's really hard to cook when I'm living by myself and there are takeout places everywhere.
ReplyDeleteIf we had more take out places, I'd be even lazier about cooking. As it is, I'm all about pre-made food :)
DeleteIt could still be my fault. You'll just never know.
ReplyDeleteI honestly can't think of one thing I'm bad at.
I bet it is your fault after all.
Delete1. blogging
Delete2. eating meat
3. running a fast marathon
4. enjoying flowers
5. being interesting
6. being a hipster
You forgot the "cooked wax paper pizza" incident.
ReplyDeleteThat was so humiliating that I never blogged about it.
DeleteOh and I'm bad at everything, but particularly including all my thoughts in a blog comment before pushing publish. And cleaning. I'm not actually bad at it, I just hate it and am too lazy to do it.
ReplyDeleteMost of things I'm bad at are actually things I don't like doing. Funny how that works.
Deletei burn toast so i can sympathize.
ReplyDeletefaith looks adorable! love the new 'do.
I have thrown away so many burnt bagels in my time.
DeleteAs usual your posts start my day off laughing. I suck at cooking (among a laundry list of other things) :)
ReplyDeleteI cannot do laundry without shrinking something. This morning I pulled my new hoodie out of the dryer and now I get to spend the rest of the day doing my best fat guy in a little coat impersonation.
ReplyDeleteChris Farley reference for the win! :)
Deletei suck at all sports. no joke. except maybe running, and baseball. otherwise, i can't thrown a football, kick a soccer ball, or any other sport that requires coordination. story of my life.
ReplyDeleteI had a grilled cheese sandwich ignite on me in the toaster oven when cheese dripped onto the heat coil. Turned around and saw flames shooting up through the glass door.
ReplyDeleteAlso, after I boiled water for coffee one morning I sat my travel mug down on the burner I'd just used for the water kettle (read=burner still hot). The bottom of my mug melted onto the burner leaving plastic gunk behind. Fortunately my mug is a thermos and thus steel under said plastic so it still functions. My apartment smelled of burning, melted plastic for a week until all the gunk burned off in the gas flames.
I would NEVER cut my children's hair either, I suck at baking also (fortunately my husband is good at it) and I think I may suck at running, too, but I'm still in denial about that.
ReplyDeleteOther things I suck at: budgeting (I need to get much better at this), fashion/"personal style" (given up on this one and at peace with that) and event planning.
HAHAHA, I don't even know what to say. I would never go at anyone's head with a pair of scissors. My mother cut my hair as a child and it scared the shit out of me. She screwed it up but good. I guess it's good though that you got it out of the way, now it becomes a great story. HA!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe you f'd up Kara's banana bread.
that last picture of Faith is so priceless, what a look.
ReplyDeleteI suck at baking, I tend to burn things or mess up the ingredients. I would rather not even try anymore, it's boring anyway.