Because I'm a nice wife, I agreed that if I get to pick a date for induction, we could do it so the baby would likely be born on November 10th, which is the Marine Corps birthday. My husband basically did this as a response to my agreement:
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| You know you read this in a Mr. Burns voice |
A week away from my due date, I feel like everyone in my life is watching me like this...just waiting.
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| But it's ok if they brought me a Coke |
I'm pretty sure I do this to pregnant women near their due date too, but it does make you feel like the watched pot that just won't boil. Don't worry, I won't sneak off into the woods like a feral cat and have my offspring in secret. I was just saying the other day how funny it would be if you could set up automatic Twitter and Facebook progress reports for labor, like you can get for large races like Marine Corps Marathon. Instead of "Kara K., Bib #234 just crossed the half mark at 1:57!" it would tweet stuff like "5cm! Moving to active labor.". You know you'd love to see that on your Facebook feed.
Yesterday and today have had a high of 80 degrees. Even with the AC still on, I am so freaking hot. I'm so glad I wasn't 9 months pregnant in July!
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| At least I don't have neck rolls |
My husband and I had decided on a baby name a few months ago and haven't discussed it since. Last week I woke up and liked another name better. Now I'm driving him crazy again with wanting to endlessly discuss the pros and cons of name choices.
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I have ground breaking information to share with the world: You can't accurately guess the size of a baby by looking a pregnant woman. No one can, not even doctors. I've known women who looked HUGE to have tiny 6lb babies and women who carry small can have sizable babies. I don't blame people who haven't had kids who don't know this, but even an ultrasound can't accurately tell the weight of a baby. I've heard of people getting induced because an ultrasound said the baby was almost 10lbs and then it turns out it was only 8.5lbs.
Here's another fun pregnancy fact: no one sleeps well at the end and we can rarely get comfortable and we're a pissy bunch. So, with these two facts at your disposal, maybe the next time you want to go up to a stranger and say "You are SO SMALL! I bet you're going to have a tiny baby!" just don't. Especially if they have their Hulk Sized toddler with them.
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| I can eat other toddlers for breakfast |
Every single time I leave the house now some stranger asks me "When are you due?" and when I answer, the response is always "But you're so small! That's going to be a little baby!". I've tried playing along and saying something like "Well, I'm the same size as last time and I didn't have a petite baby", but they've already made up their mind about the potential size of my yet to be born fetus.
I realize that people don't know that I'm tired of the "small baby" thing, but I do really want to let the next person natter on about their theory of how they can guess my baby's size like some kind of carnie, and then respond with this:
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| I have seen this movie more times than I can count |
Even the lady at the McDonald's drive thru today had an opinion about my size and wanted to discuss how tiny my baby will be. I wanted to say "Oh, did you learn about these things when you went to medical school before coming to work here? No? Just give my McFlurry lady".
Yes, I continue to be a little ray of sunshine in this world.
Watch me have to eat my words when I have a petite 6lb baby after all. I wouldn't complain about that, it would have to be easier than pushing out a baby Faith's size! Unfortunately the one person who hasn't said they think I'm having a small baby is my doctor. Turns out it's more likely to have a bigger baby the second time? Who makes up these rules?
What was the last idiotic thing a stranger said to you? Before pregnancy, it used to be people insisting that Peanut is a Rottweiler.
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| I don't see it. |
You're not so small.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I could help counteract all those annoying people. You're welcome.
DeleteHow come Alyssa's blog is all about cookies, and yours doesn't even mention them? Which of you is pregnant again?
ReplyDeleteThis has all been a huge joke, IT'S ME!
DeleteOh, and Are you ready?
ReplyDeleteReady to kick your butt in the Winter Trail series? Yes.
Deletepeanut is a derphound. that is an amazing picture.
ReplyDeleteDerphound is her new official breed name.
DeleteFor the last time, I don't care how pregnant you are, you CANNOT name the baby "Honey Boo Boo".
ReplyDeleteMiddle name: Child
DeleteHey I've heard McDonald's University is a good school:) Yes, I've had people ask what kind of dogs mine are and when I tell them, they are shar-peis, they say are you sure? Seriously?! I paid a buttload of money to a breeder, I think I'm pretty sure! Don't worry, I'm sure you will have a huge baby:)
ReplyDeleteAre they not wrinkly enough for people? Haha, that's hilarious to me.
DeleteWhen I was 37 weeks pregnant someone said I looked way too small and asked if they've checked the baby. I told her that everything looks good and she picked a fight with me! The next week I had an 8 lb baby.
ReplyDeletein your face, lady I'll never see again!! FACE!
Haha, that's awesome. That's what bothers me about the "small" thing, it's the implication that my baby won't be healthy. It's funny how everyone is a doctor in my town!
DeleteApparently that's why I owed my husband's grandmothers regular updates on my weight gain. They needed to know if the baby was healthy and that's how you tell.
DeleteI'm a high school teacher- "strangers" (ie teenagers) ask me weird things on a daily basis. Just today I had a kid I didn't know come up and ask me if I knew his mom. Another asked if I was 22 (not for awhile). I can only imagine the madness when I finally get pregnant.
ReplyDeleteThat kid is going to look back and laugh at the 22 question in a few years :)
DeleteHey at least you have a great excuse to be a little narky. If I get cranky (which I frequently do - as can be attested to by the tail-gater who I flipped off this morning. I'm such a lady!), people just shake their heads and mutter things about 'the change' and the big M (and I don't mean McDonalds). They don't realise that my hormone levels are actually fine - I've always had this charming disposition.
ReplyDeleteMy dirty little secret is that I'm always this bitchy too. :)
DeleteYou're HUGE and you're going to birth a toddler or a puppy.
ReplyDeleteOh, I didn't know a puppy was an option!
DeleteAlright, you're ginormous and your baby will be too. Happy? ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm too tired this week to even think of something idiotic that has happened. I know it has...a few weeks ago, I had people at work who didn't know how to track changes in Word. They edited a document and sent it back to me with edits...but where?!?! :headdesk :
Is it Friday yet??
Thank you! Is it too much to ask that everyone could agree that I look like a beached whale ready to explode??
DeleteGod called. He said if you wanted a smaller baby, you should stop feeding it fatty things like mcflurries.
ReplyDeleteI really have a feeling that if everyone were saying things like "Holy shit YOU'RE HUGE, how do you even stay upright?" you'd be even more pissed off. But fingers crossed for a 6 pounder. When I was on my way to Annapolis this summer our idiot driver missed the exit and this other chick said "well that's ok, maybe there's another exit 29!". These are the people educating the youth of our country.
ReplyDeleteI think "you're so small" or "you're going to have a tiny baby" is supposed to be flattering to pregnant ladies -- because, as we all know, a woman's only goal even when pregnant is to be the smallest, most diminutive person in any room. Womens lib 4eva.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm a similar ray of sunshine to everyone I encounter and I'm not pregnant/hormonal, so at least you have a built in excuse right now. Enjoy that!
I gained (way) too much weight while pregnant and it's also not a welcomed comment when the comment is "you're going to have a big baby." I had to see another doc for my 37 & 38 week prenatals because my doc was on vacation and she was all "oh you're ready to have this baby NOW (based on her feeling my stomach), we should sweep your membranes". Nice. I was like, "Umm, shouldn't I let the baby have a chance to approach due date?" Ultrasounds showed he wasn't big, but the margin or error is like +/- a POUND which, in baby size is insanely significant. He and was born a perfect 7lbs, 7,7 oz (on Friday, the 13th, no less). I learned a valuable lesson that no freaking doctors or u/s techs have any certainty on baby size and should know better than to spout of their "expert opinion" much less Joe public.
ReplyDeleteAlmost there! Good luck making it through the last few days without strangling anyone!
ReplyDeleteMy office is overlooking a lake and a Fedex guy once asked me what date the lake freezes over. I kinda laughed and said "When it gets cold enough" and he looked at me totally serious and said "Oh, you don't know?" No douchebag, I don't know what date a lake freezes over! Maybe February 30th?
So true. My first was 8lbs 6oz, I was the same size for the second and she was a full pound bigger. The Doctors told me the first and second would be small and no worries, my second was too big, they had my due date wrong, she had been breech and as a result had hip dysplasia all because they wanted to follow the ultrasound sizing instead of me and knowing when I had my prior period/sex because they totally tried to tell me I got pregnant when it was physically impossible since my Husband was deployed and I was in the middle of a road trip at the time. The same doctors told my Sister to expect a 10lb baby...yeah 6lbs.
ReplyDeleteI just told my mom about this and she cracked up. was pretty big when pregnant with my twin brothers but they were born at only 5,2 and 5,11...of course they were born at 35 weeks but we're guessing they wouldn't have been much bigger. me on the other hand, my mom looked liked she might have had a food baby, yet i weighed almost 9 pounds. oh hell yeah!
ReplyDeleteAre you sure you're not having triplets?
ReplyDeleteMy first was due on Halloween but not born until Nov. 10th. I feel your pain - and hell, I felt mine too because he was 9 lbs, 5 oz. My entire family was upset because in MN that time of the year is deer hunting opener and I ruined it for all of them. Sure - totally planned that one.
ReplyDelete1. The person that said babies get bigger is a liar. My first was my biggest, my second was my smallest. The third was something I can't remember, but was definitely in the middle.
ReplyDelete2. I have this game I play at work - the second my boss tells me/asks me something dumb, I stop working for the day. I've been not working for 2.5 hours, thanks to an email she sent last night.
When I was pregnant - I got the dreaded - are you sure there is only one in there? When I replied about not on the ultrasound, the response was "you know ultrasounds are wrong all the time, right?" And yes, I had a 5 lb baby.
ReplyDeleteI have decided there is no need for a zombie apocalypse, the dumb people have it covered!
I was one of those that was induced because they swore the baby was going to be 10lbs. I was told to stay off the chocolate, etc, but when she pulled little Tommy out, he was almost 8lbs. Not quite the butterball turkey they thought. Then I was just pissed cause I had watched my diet so closely.
ReplyDeleteA baby on the Marine Corp Birthday, my family would be over the moon.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, my "Uncle Sweed," might start calling the kiddo every year and singing the Marine Corp hymn to them on their birthday. Oh wait, that's my family.
("Uncle Sweed" served with my grandfather in Korea, he called every year on 11/10 and sang the Marine Corp hymn to the family over the phone).
Faith's joy in that photo is so delightful. You are so brave to give her a ballpoint pen to use. I only give the B crayons at her activity table. FYI, the best way to get crayon out of wood is baking soda, water, and a lot of elbow grease. People say idiotic things to me all day long, I can't think of anything because I stop listening to them as soon as their mouth opens.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I didn't know that Nov 10th is Marine Corp birthday. It's the B's birthday too.
ReplyDeleteI hated it when people said they couldn't tell I was pregnant from the back, of course you can't I don't carry my baby in my ass, which for the record was huge when I was pregnant. I think at 39 weeks pregnant there is not a lot of right things to say.
ReplyDeleteGlad you have an end in sight!
I'm pretty sure this just says "blah, blah, blah, I need to eat more McDonalds so I don't have to chokeslam bitches who tell me I look too small." For the record, I was due November 1, but I'm not telling you my birthdate until after you've popped that kid out. If you are aiming for 11/10, does that mean inducing on 11/9?
ReplyDeleteI was the opposite on the spectrum. 5'3", carried my baby EVERYWHERE (yes, Christy, I was also pregnant in my ass, it does happen! ;)). I was 36-37 weeks pregnant at Ross and a lady came up to me to say, "Wow, you're ready to pop, aren't you?" I just couldn't control myself. I reamed her. "No, actually, I'm not due for a month. By the way, it's neither nice or appropriate to comment on any woman's size, ESPECIALLY a pregnant woman! We have enough to be insecure about without total strangers coming up to us in public stores to comment about how huge we are! This is your lesson next time you have the urge to say something stupid and mean, lest someone comment on how huge *your ass* is." She paled and said meekly, "I...I'm sorry..." and walked away.
ReplyDeleteNo, I don't feel bad. In some small way, I helped that woman not get stabbed by an even *more* emotionally unstable pregnant lady than I was. ;)