Men and toddlers have the same sense of humor

Proof:





There is really nothing funnier than making the dog wear a hat. Even if the kid was asleep, my husband would still be doing it and laughing. Soon after this was filmed, I had to take the hat away and put it in the closet because Faith wanted to keep going, but Peanut was just done. You know how dog rescue agencies are always looking for people who are home during the day to adopt dogs so they won't be alone all the time? I feel like Peanut is going to put her own Petfinder ad out for a home with people who all work and let her sleep all day in peace.

Today was a really beautiful day, but it was also really windy (such shocking weather for March). My 4 mile stroller run absolutely sucked. Well, the first 2 miles were ok...because the wind was at my back. It was really the way home that killed me. The wind was so strong that Peanut wouldn't even open her eyes (and kept bumping into my leg as a result) and all of Faith's hair was standing up. I was hating life pushing the stroller and was super slow coming home.

The wind helps me blow bubbles, so quit yer bitching Mommy!

Since I came home so dejected from the 4 mile run, I didn't expect great things from my treadmill run 45 minutes later (after toddler play time, lunch time and nap time) and I told myself to just get through 4 more miles. Surprisingly, I had a great run and went for over 5 miles, so I guess I just needed some time to regroup.

After nap time, Faith and I spent the rest of the afternoon outside playing in the driveway and she invited herself over to play soccer with our next door neighbor's kids. She is obsessed with balls (and screams "BALL!" when she sees one) and she actually played with the other kids by passing the ball, so that's some kind of developmental step. I think...I don't know, I stopped reading those developmental guides because it's such boring reading (and hardly ever accurate). Let's just say my kid is a genius.

I'm running a 10 mile race on Sunday morning (the Cherry Pit 10 Mile), so I'm looking forward to just showing up and racing and not worrying about registration or timing. The only bummer is that I'm not allowed to bring Peanut. She's going to be so pissed to be left at home because she doesn't know many things, but she knows when I dress in running clothes and leave without her that she's missing out. Her life is truly full of suffering.




Are you racing this weekend?

Colds can be fatal, right?

I have spent most of the day moping around the house as if I believe having a cold is the end of the world, rather than just the death notice for a box of Kleenex. Faith has the same cold and it makes me feel better that it's making her cranky too. I wouldn't want her to be tougher than me, even if she is better at hydrating.

I'm a better dresser too. That's why Mommy only uses pictures of me.

I gave some consideration to laying in a fetal position instead of running, but then I slapped myself into stopping being such a man about getting a cold. I did decide to only run 6 miles as a compromise. If I'm going to cut miles, I'm going to do it on the stroller run portion (sorry dog) because that is much harder than the treadmill.  Faith likes the change of scenery when we do the 2 mile circuit through my hilly neighborhood, so it works out for everyone. Even after I did the 2 miles outside, I still strongly considered napping instead of running more, but some ice cold Coke helped sway me toward not being a wuss. I swear that is the key to getting me to do anything I don't want to do. Dishes overflowing? Offer me a Coke. Trash needs to be taken out? Again, Coke. I have a problem.

Wait...Coke was an option? Why am I drinking stupid water??

This afternoon was stormy, so instead of being stuck inside with the crazy kid, I took her to Payless, which is like her Chuckie Cheese. She is going through a strong shoe phase (maybe a phase?) and she loves to get shoes out of the boxes and then sit down and hold her foot out for me to put the shoe on for her. I was looking for a pair of toddler flip flops (you know, the kind that has the elastic on the back so it doesn't fall off), but they didn't have any. I asked the sales girl, but she suggested that I try Target or Old Navy. Ah, the retail savvy of a 16 year old.

Luckily Faith didn't care about not leaving with a new pair of shoes, especially since we just went next door to the grocery store to restock on berries. I really wish I could slip her frozen berries instead, but she's not that gullible. I figure since she was nice enough to outgrow her milk allergy and drink normal milk, I can be a sport and spring for all the berries she wants to eat.

I'm going to poop these out in almost the same form

I'm hoping both Faith and I wake up tomorrow morning feeling all better (and my husband too, but he was the one who brought this home and I'm not sure he's suffered enough). If pepporoni pizza is the cure, I'm going to wake up feeling like a million bucks.


If you have a cold, do you nap like a sane person or workout like a stubborn person?

I have changed teams

Growing up, I always strongly preferred summer and warm weather to the winter. Once I started running outside year round, I started to shift preferences. Today was the first cool day we've had in weeks and it made me realize that I now strongly prefer cold weather.

The high today was 57 degrees, which was a far cry from the 80 degrees we had just a couple of days ago and since the high tomorrow is back to 75, we don't have the heat on. It was pretty chilly in the house this morning, but the fireplace helped warm things up. Peanut parked herself in front of it and stayed there all morning.

Toasty dog buns

Faith wasn't bothered at all by the chilly air in the house, but I always say that she has Viking blood on both sides so it makes sense that she likes the cold.

Is my Viking blood to blame for my huge hands too?

My 4 mile stroller run outside was one of the best I've had in weeks because it was cooler outside. Apparently I've become like the dog and start acting like I'm running across Death Valley if the temperature nears 70 degrees. That's unfortunate because southern MD isn't known for its cool, dry summers.

It also isn't known for Mommies who make acceptable lunches

Even my treadmill run during nap time was better than usual because it was so cold in the basement. Since Maryland gets so humid in the summer, we have dehumidifers running in the basement and they can make it feel warm down there, so it was a nice change from the last couple of weeks.

I figure that everyone is allowed to complain about one season, as long as they stick with it. Since I refrained from complaining about the cold, that means I have free rein to bitch about the heat. Whenever I read "How to Survive Hot Weather Running" I feel like the underlying message is "You're an idiot for trying to do this". Not that I don't run in the summer, I just recognize that it's an idiotic thing to do.

Since it gets chilly at night with no heat on, I had to bundle Faith up in her fleece pajamas that I almost put away for the season. Thank goodness for laziness.

Ok Daddy, I'm going to run down field and then you throw this to me

Which way are the laces supposed to be when I throw this?

In case you missed it...KITTY CAT FEET

Are you Team Winter or Team Summer?

It's about time

It's been a while, so I think I'm due for some confessions.

My kid still doesn't call me Mommy. I don't know anyone else who has a kid her age who is still resisting that, so I don't ever mention it. I know she can say it because if I ask her "Can you say Mama?" she says it and if you ask her to "find Mommy" she knows that one too...but the little putz won't call me Mommy. She doesn't say Daddy either, so at least it's equal discrimination.

When I get older, my plan is to drive Mommy and Daddy crazy

On that same topic, the kid does scream "COME!" if she wants me and she has on more than one occasion called my husband "CUNT!" so we always have that.


If I'm alone, an avocado serves one. The only way it's not is if my husband is home and he wants some, otherwise I'll eat it all. In my world there is nothing grosser than avocado leftovers, so it's a now or never deal.


If it's windy, I pick a shorter stroller run route because I'm so over pushing that thing into a headwind. I know I can do it, but I'd really rather shove a fork in my ear than run 4 miles pushing 50lbs into a 25mph headwind.

Mommy, don't tell them how much I weigh!

I spent a good 30 minutes today dying of laughter as I watch Wiggles spoof videos on YouTube. I don't know why it took me so long to find these, but this is my current favorite. The best part is how it really looks like Wags the Dog is flashing gang signs.





I like watching Worst Cooks in America because it makes me feel better about my own cooking skills. I may melt plastic in the oven, but at least I don't cook salmon in the dishwasher like that one dude on the show.


Yesterday I saw a rabid raccoon cross the street right in front my car on my street and my first reaction was to ask my husband to shoot it. Living in the country is corrupting me.

I don't have rabies, I just brushed my teeth.

I knew it had rabies because it was visibly disoriented and repeatedly fell over and twitched and then got back up and tried to run, only to fall again and again. My husband said the neighbors wouldn't like him shooting anything and our second option was a shovel, but then I remembered that Animal Control was probably the best option. The raccoon was long gone by the time we had discussed our options, so now I'm just on the lookout for it again. I'm worried the dog would go after it, but hopefully it can't climb our fence.


What's your latest favorite funny YouTube video? Leave a link in the comments so I can laugh my way through nap time today!

Following instructions is so hard

Like most females in my demographic, I went to go see Hunger Games over the weekend. I hadn't been so excited to see a movie since the Lord of the Rings trilogy was in the theaters. To show my excitement, I even had a shirt:

Tickets purchased days ago, shirt purchased weeks ago 

We got to the theater an hour early to get good seats because it was a sold out show, but like flying on a plane, it mattered more who we sat next to versus our position in the theater. The theater was full of high school age kids and initially I thought we should avoid them, but it turns out the 20 something types are much bigger assholes than 16 year olds. I think the problem was that the people we sat next to were not fans of the Hunger Games and hadn't read the book and also they could not keep their traps shut.

I almost went Katniss on their asses

If you've seen the movie, you know that there are certain scenes when talking is especially bad (like the scenes involving reaping and death) and that's when this one dude behind me had the most snide remarks to say. That wasn't the worst part because his little fan club of one was sitting next to me and had to laugh loudly at everything he said, funny or not. I came so close to saying to her "You know there is nothing more pathetic than an unattractive fat girl who feels compelled to laugh at everything a man has to say" and the only thing that stopped me was my husband's presence. I usually feel compelled to behave around him, but it was still on the tip of my tongue.

Aside from my hatred of other people, I really enjoyed the movie. My husband didn't, but he didn't complain about how Katniss held her bow or the unlikelihood of sawing through a branch with a knife until after the movie was over, so I appreciated that. I think when Hunger Games comes out on DVD that I will have to buy it and enjoy watching it in the quiet of my house.

We got home late Friday night from the movie, and I had to get up early to go help time a 5K on Saturday morning. I've helped with a few races before, but this was my first "big" one and my first one filled with people who don't normally run races. The 5K is a very accessible distance, so I understand why beginners would be there, but I don't understand why being a beginning runner means that you have to be deaf. We had 2 basic things we asked of the racers:

1. Make sure you have a visible bib on the front of your person
2. Don't cross the finish line twice

Both of these things are critical when you are manually timing a race. We also should have added: "Run the whole freaking 3.1 miles" because some people had a problem with that too. I think most of the people who didn't run the whole distance eventually told us, but one of the guys decided to tell us after he got his 2nd place age group award medal.

Entering all the data into our running club's well loved laptop is already a time consuming task, but I had at least 8 people come up and ask me for their time and when I would be done. By the 5th person, I was tempted to start writing down their bib number and telling them there was a 1 minute time penalty for annoying the person trying to enter times. I found it fascinating how many people asked me when I'd be done more than one time, especially since my default facial expression is neither friendly or approachable on a good day.

Even though I had the computer crash and had to reenter a ton of data, I was able to get out the age group awards in a reasonable amount of time and then we had to go back and fix all the errors of people who didn't run the whole thing and other issues. I'm 100% sure that running 3.1 miles is way easier than trying to figure out the correct finishing order when you have bib-less runners crossing the finish line and people crossing twice.

The 5K wasn't all bad, as they had a DJ to blare "Eye of the Tiger" to me as I was trying to enter 5K times, so that was a nice touch. Also, they had more food than I've seen at some marathons so I helped them out by eating some of it. All in all, it was a successful event for colon health. Yes, the race was for colons. "Keep Your Colon Rollin'" to be exact.

The rest of my weekend was mostly spent hanging out with my little shoe diva. My mom was down this weekend (which is how we went to go see the movie) and she brought Faith new shoes. Shoes are the way to this girl's heart, especially if they are sparkly. Her main regret in life is that she can only wear one pair of shoes at a time.

Mommy, do these shoes go with my outfit?

I think the sparkles might be more "nighttime"

Daddy, what do you think? Why are you shaking your head at me? This is a serious question!

I did run some this weekend too, but I stayed on the treadmill because it's been storming on and off so it wasn't thrilling enough to discuss...not like my normal runs that are worth a mile by mile break down and have you sitting on the edge of your seat as you read. At least the storms have brought the temperature down and hopefully I can have some cool outdoor runs this week!




Have you ever snapped at someone about talking during a movie or gotten close to doing it?

I'm strangely not upset

If you've known me for any amount of time, you'd know that I love a good bitch and moan. I find things all the time that make me rant and wish I had my own TV segment like Peter Griffen:

I noticed some outrage on Twitter yesterday (twi-rage?) about a new advertisement. I love some righteous outrage, so I clicked over to the ad. It didn't really trigger my rage reflex:

First of all, I don't even own any Pearl Izumi stuff, so it's not brand loyalty at work here. I have two theories why this doesn't piss me off:

1. I am a running snob and this speaks to me.

2. It's just not offensive

My husband votes for number one, but I don't think it's snobby to think that people should respect the distance. I have absolutely nothing against "7 hour marathoners"...if that's honestly the best they can do with adequate and dedicated training.  People that signed up for a marathon because there are bands on the course and free beer after, but don't feel like getting up early for months to train and put in the hard work so they are forced to walk the actual race and finish in 7 hours? Yeah, I'm not going to get upset for those people. I assume they don't care about other runners, so this ad isn't going to make them cry themselves to sleep tonight.

Also, I really agree that some marathons are now a test of patience more than fitness...and that's why I'm not ever running a big marathon again. My dislike of big races has nothing to do with other runners...other than there are too many of them. Also, I hate packed race expos that force you to walk by vendors when you just want your freaking bib. The last two (big) marathons I did, I felt mentally exhausted before I even started running. I even hate having thousands of strangers screaming at me as I run, as I find it jarring and stressful. It seems like those big marathons are about buying stuff and guys with megaphones telling you that you're a special snowflake for running for 4 hours and Black Eyed Peas songs blasting out of cars...and the actual running gets a little lost in that mix.

This is why I gravitate to trail races and ultras. It's so peaceful to just meet up with a group of fellow runners in a parking lot somewhere and then spend hours in the woods in blissful silence. No expos, no spectators....just running. Also, I rarely meet someone at that kind of race who signed up because their friends did and then didn't train. When you take away the hoopla of the big races (like Rock and Roll series), you lose a lot of popular interest and you're left with people who (in general) take running seriously...regardless of how fast they run.

This advertisement made some people angry enough to even vow to stop purchasing Pearl Izumi gear, so I'm thinking I'm missing the part that made people so pissed.

Does this ad make you angry? Make your case why and maybe you'll sway me enough to send an angry email to Pearl Izumi. I love sending angry emails.

Passive Aggressive Hound

I have a confession to make: I really enjoy messing with the dog. I think most dog owners enjoy tickling their dog's toes when they sleep and trying to jump out surprise them in the house. No one likes messing with the dog as much as my husband, but Faith is a close second:

I own you dog

Dunadunaduna BATDOG!

If I see Faith actually hurting the dog (like hitting her over the head with a toy), I'll stop it. Most of the time, I just laugh because the dog is fully capable of walking away, yet she stays and takes the abuse.

The Yawn of Annoyance from the dog

You are literally the worst person ever for letting this happen to me

Peanut isn't totally helpless. She has lovely bodily functions that she can bust out on command. The first is vomiting, which is usually reserved for when her breakfast is late. It's awesome to be getting dressed in the morning and hear the dog heaving on the kitchen floor downstairs.

The other thing she can do if she's really ticked at me is express her anal glands. If you don't know what I'm talking about, here's a cliff notes version: Dogs have these delightful little scent glands on either side of their butt and the scent is used for identification (like their calling card) and most large breed dogs can express their glands with no issue, but small dogs often need help. If you've ever seen a dog scooting their butt across the carpet, it's because they are trying to express their anal glands.


[There used to be a picture here illustrating the location of canine anal glands, but an insane woman insists that was her "beloved" dog's anus and insisted that I remove it. Now you'll never know what I'm talking about, but at least her dog's modesty is now protected from exploitation on the internet.]

The stench that comes out of those little glands is like 3 day old fish mixed with dog poop. Peanut can shoot her glands whenever the mood seems to strike her and one time she even did it when my husband took a sharp corner while driving and his Jeep smelled bad for weeks.

I guess Peanut was angry enough about Faith messing with her ears and laughing that she just expressed her anal glands on the carpet right in front of me as I was taking pictures. Even the kid was disgusted.

Man, I thought my diapers were stinky!

Hehe, it's funny when you scrub the carpet

Look, Peanut is helping! Why are you yelling at her to freaking stop it already?

The grossest part is that I have to fight with the dog to clean it up before she licks it all up. Alyssa often asks me why people want to have these animals living inside with them, and I don't really have a good answer. At least it's teaching the kid valuable lessons about bullying. She'll be afraid to mess with other kids at preschool because she thinks they'll squirt butt juice in her general direction.

I am going to be nice to everyone forever, I promise.

Do you like messing with your pet? Do they ever have passive aggressive (or just aggressive) reactions?

It's been a good day

Keys to a good day:

A good night's sleep: When my husband doesn't sleep well, I usually have my most restful sleep...probably because his snoring doesn't jolt me awake. Sure, I guess that I feel bad that he has been awake since 3am, but it's not ruining my day.

This is the usual state of affairs

A good run: One of my neighbor friends had today off work, so I had company for my run! I'm getting spoiled this week by running company. My friend today didn't have a stroller to push, so I was huffing and puffing trying to keep up. We ended up covering the miles a lot faster than I normally do! I think Faith likes when someone else comes along because she doesn't do her "I'm SO bored" whining. I finished up my run on the treadmill shortly after we finished the outside portion and ended up with 8.25 miles for the day.

I will never love Peanut enough to do this

A new race on the calendar: Nothing makes me as amped to run as a new race on the calendar. I'll be running the Annapolis Striders Cherry Pit 10 mile race on April 1st. Sure, I could be running the Cherry Blossom 10 Mile race and it's hard to imagine that I'm passing up on this lovely crowded start:

I bet you all will smell so lovely on the Metro after the race

But I decided to forgo entering the lotto and just sign for the Cherry Pit 10 Mile race on the same day, but in Annapolis. The best parts are that it is a small race and the entry fee was 5 bucks!

A fun weekend ahead: As you may have heard, there is this movie called "Hunger Games" coming out this weekend and we're going to see it! At first I was trying to find a babysitter, but then my mom said that she would come down for the night so that's even better. My husband actually volunteered to see this movie with me, which is shocking after I made him see "New Moon" in theaters with me and he had to deal with teenage squeals when Jacob took off his shirt and he vowed to never see another teenage movie with me ever again.

I haven't told him that I ordered myself a Hunger Games tee shirt and plan on wearing it, but it's probably better that he doesn't know. I might get this for Peanut too:

Too bad Peanut is a lesbian and would be Team Katniss

A long nap: Not for me, but for Faith. Nap time is so necessary for having time to recharge so I can deal with a crazy toddler. When nap time is 3 hours long, that's the best because I not only have a ton of time to run, eat and shower, but she wakes up in a great mood. She's actually been in a great mood all day!

Not having to cook: I picked up another rotisserie chicken from the store and I actually ate it this time instead of melting it in the oven. I know some people out there might actually enjoy cooking, but I jump at any chance to avoid doing it.

All in all, a great day.



What makes a day great for you?

Rest day runs and "running" a 5K

First things first, I completely forgot to pick a winner from my Ruff Wear giveaway! That's probably worth like 15 blogger demerit points. It's a good thing the International Tribunal on Blogging doesn't have a police force...but how awesome is that concept?

Focus Mommy, FOCUS

I just picked a winner using Random.org and Terzah is the winner! Your sister's dog is going to love that new leash! Just shoot me an email with your information and the leash will be on its way to you!

I normally take Mondays as a rest day from running, but today I went for a short run with one of my neighbor friends who also has a baby. She's getting back in the swing of running with a stroller and we used to have lots of fun running with our kids twice a week and I'm hoping we can start that again. It was a beautiful day to be outside and luckily Faith behaved reasonably well and didn't embarrass me too much. I used to be the one with a sweet sleeping baby and now I'm the one with a whining kid who is demanding snacks and attention.

After the run, Faith and I had lunch and then while she slept a friend from the running club came over and we did all the computer prep for a 5K that we're timing on Saturday. I never realized how much work went into running (not literally) a 5K! We are both still learning the computer program that we use, so I'm sure it will be faster in the future. This 5K is pretty big for our area with 87 participants already, so that makes it harder than our little trail runs with 35 people. We need to be able to tabulate the results quickly and it's a little stressful trying to figure out how to do that when we are still working the finish line (no chip timing). I don't think I'll ever complain about having to wait for age group awards ever again!

After almost 2 hours of working on that stuff, I was more than ready to head outside with Faith after she woke up from her nap. It was a great day to be at the playground!

Push me HIGHER Mommy!

Not that high!

The part isn't just fun for Faith, I also find great enjoyment there:

What do you mean "You're going to get stuck"?

I'm just going to push through

Mommy, why are you laughing? What's so funny?

Do you usually wait around for awards at races or do you just head home as soon as you're done?

Swimming is harder than it looks

Ever since I crossed the finish line at the JFK 50, I made a vow to myself to start cross training again. The trouble is that I like to run...a lot. I used to cross train often, but that's when I was a gym member and had access to equipment like ellipticals and cardio classes.

Alyssa has been talking about what a kick butt workout swimming is for her, so I decided that sounded like a fun new challenge. I know how to swim and I took lessons as a kid, but I've never in my life swam laps for exercise. I am really, really good at procrastination and it took me 2 months to finally order a bathing suit. The fact that I only owned bikinis had been an ironclad reason to not go swim laps. I also got a swim cap as race swag from the half marathon I did in January, so I felt like that was another indication that I should just freaking try it already.

I finally picked today as my first day of trying out swimming and I even formulated grand plans of making Sundays my cross training day every week. I got all dressed in my new incredibly flattering Speedo and packed up my towel, (my husband's) goggles and swim cap to go the aquatic center at the nearby community college.

I think I drool enough to need a pair of these

When I got to the community college, I noticed something unsettling: the parking lot was completely empty. I sat in my car and wondered what was wrong.

Mommy, you should really check things on the internet first

Then it dawned on me: spring break! Oh yeah, that. I had to go home in defeat and admit that my grand swimming plans would have to wait at least a few days.

Mommy, you can use my pool out in the yard. 

When I got home, I was faced with a conundrum because I still wanted to work out, but I didn't want to run because in my mind, Sundays are cross training days now. My mind is a funny place like that.

I didn't feel like doing a workout DVD, so I just hopped on the treadmill (it was cold and foggy outside) and did 4 miles at a brisk pace with lots of incline. I hate running with a lot of incline on the treadmill, but I really enjoy incline walking. Later on in the afternoon, the sun came out and it was a beautiful day, so I took Peanut and Faith out for a 2 mile walk. Faith loves our walks because of all the fruit leathers she gets to eat.

I love strawberry flavored walks!

I ended up walking 6 miles instead of swimming, but at least I hit my goal of having at least one day a week of working out in a non-running fashion. Faith's swim lessons start next week, so I'll get some use out of that sensible Speedo then (because excited toddlers and bikinis don't mix). Maybe Faith can teach me a few tricks after she masters swimming.

Other than pointless driving around town in my bathing suit, I also spent a lot of quality time hanging out with the family this weekend. After church this morning, I caught this priceless moment between the kid and the dog (and yes, stuff like this happens all the time).






When was the last time you tried something completely new for exercise?

Make my life decisions for me

I have a confession: I am a haircut procrastinator. I know I should at least get it trimmed 2 or 3 times a year, but since Faith was born it just hasn't happened. It's not my husband's fault because he's willing to watch the kid so I can go, but I always use his free time for my running instead. It just seems like a better use of my time than trying to have forced small talk over the white noise of a hair dryer.

So, it's been a little over a year since I had a hair cut. My hair is looking pretty rough and it finally forced me to make a hair appointment for tomorrow afternoon. Even my split ends have split ends! I guess I can't be upset, this hair has seen a lot of miles and sweat.

No make up? Man, I'm so brave.

It air dries so beautifully

Since I can't decide, I'm open to suggestions about what to do with it: just a trim or cut it all off? I could also be talked into bangs, I've had those before and thought they were ok (but a pain to trim). You'll get bonus blog friend points if you actually suggest a specific hair style or link to a picture that I can print out and take with me. I'm not lazy, I just like giving voice to other opinions...yeah.

Other than the arduous task of making a haircut appointment, I ran a little over 8 miles today and read about 89 books to Faith. I've been cutting her TV time since she's not sick anymore and as a result, she is a very demanding book worm.

Why are you just sitting there?

Read me this book NOW!

No Mommy, you're not doing it right. Let me hold it.

It's amazing how annoying Dr. Seuss can become after just 2 readings. So many make up words, so much annoyance. What is a "Zizzer zazzer zuzz" anyway?

Faith is feeling almost 100% better today and isn't even whining and crying all day like she was for the last few days. Having her back to her normal (quieter) self today was wonderful.

I'm just saving it up for the weekend

So what's your verdict on the hair? 


Do you ever go nuts with your hair or do you normally just get the same cut over and over again?


Edited to add pictures of my new hair! 

I got bangs out of spite for everyone who told me not to get them

It doesn't resemble a rat's nest anymore!