Contrary

Faith may look just like my husband and have many of his traits, but she got one thing from me: she is so, so contrary. I actually think it's funny that she's just like me in that way and I also feel like I know how to handle her better than most people because I can look at it from my own very contrary viewpoint and (hopefully) understand her.

I have never expected Faith to like all other kids, but I've never really given it much thought because she seems to like all kids equally. One of the guys in my running club has a daughter about a year younger than Faith and it seems logical that they should get along since they are among the few in the elite "running club toddlers" sub-group. They met before at the club awards breakfast and seemed to like each other, but now Faith has decided that they are mortal enemies.

How baby fight clubs start

It's not so much that Faith doesn't LIKE the other baby, it's that she is absolutely terrified of her. I don't get it because look at the size difference!

Oh no Mommy, don't let her TOUCH ME!

That picture was taken on Tuesday night and every time the other little girl got close, Faith would scream like I've never heard her scream before. If the other baby had shanked her prison-style, I'd expect the same reaction.

This is what I'm imagining actually went down

I blamed Faith's reaction on being too tired and close to bedtime, so I figured a park outing with the other baby would be a fun idea. Apparently Faith doesn't like being set up on dates and wouldn't even look at the little girl or play near her during their play date this morning. When the other girl tried to interact with her, Faith's face just crumpled up and she started screaming. The park play date quickly descended into Faith insisting on sitting on my lap, which is huge fun on a 90 degree morning.

I just want to play BY MYSELF Mommy.

Get these commoners out of my play area!

OMG Mommy, she's LOOKING at me again. I can't take this harassment. 

I have three theories on what went wrong here:

1. Faith is afraid of smaller toddlers. Maybe it's because they are faster or more nimble, but how can you trust something so small and petite? Most of Faith's interactions are with slightly older kids, so this theory could be right.

2. It's a phase. This is my favorite blanket explanation.

3. She's racist. It's actually a real thing.

That little girl is her first non-white toddler she has met because everyone I know around here is white because it's the boondocks. Even the dog is racist (you should see her different reaction to delivery men of varying ethnicity). I'm blaming my husband's German heritage for this.

BURN ZE DORA BOOKS!

I think the most plausible explanation is that I wanted her to get along with this other little girl and she's just being contrary. It's totally something I'd do.


How do you feel about being set up on friend dates as an adult? I'm ok with it, as long as we have running in common. Otherwise I'm probably going to react like Faith, especially if they just want to talk about crafting.

I should know better

You know how you do things over and over again and you know you should change, but you don't? I'm not talking about big things like "I should be a better person", I'm talking about little things like "Why do I always over-toast my Toaster Strudel?".

A rare example of me not toasting the ever loving shit of the strudel

Why do I buy cherries? If the price alone doesn't make me regret it, the fact that I can't eat a reasonable amount will surely bite me in the butt. I can't say this about many foods, but cherries are one of the things that I always eat until I feel slightly ill. Even though I know this, I still can't resist buying them when they are on sale.

At least I don't have a 50K tomorrow

Not putting the dog in her kennel when I go out. Despite the fact that I'm still running, I'm really a lazy, lazy pregnant person. I hate running up and down the stairs and catching the dog, running upstairs with her, catching the kid, running back DOWN the stairs...ugh, I'm tired just thinking of that. Since Peanut's issue seems to be with getting into trouble in the kitchen, this is my "good enough" solution:

I could vault that gate in a second

But I'm going to take a nap first.

Still using the changing table. I know it's too small, but man it's easier to change her and get her dressed on that thing. What do people without changing tables use??

That looks comfortable, right?

Oh Mommy, you need to move on already.

My endless enjoyment of making fun of Twilight. I know I'll never convert anyone over to my thinking, but I still get a lot of pleasure out of trying.

If only

Man, I love Buffy

Believing people when they tell me that I look "small" or "huge". I'm 100% certain that I'm average sized, but when people exclaim about my size, I always believe them for at least a few hours. Pregnancy apparently makes you susceptible to flattery (or I guess "YOU ARE HUUUGE" could be an insult?)

22 weeks tomorrow

The last thing for this list: I should know better than to leave Faith alone for 5 minutes (I was making bread) because she always finds trouble.

Why don't you go in the kitchen Mommy, I'll just play nicely here.

How do you like my new organization system for my toys?

Yeah, she moved a large amount of her toys (and the dog's toys) to the entertainment center. A toddler's mind is really a mystery.


What do you do, even though you should know better?

A common misunderstanding

Here's something fun about becoming a parent: people assume that you like children. I guess it's logical to assume since I like MY kid, but I still really don't like other people's children, especially other people's poorly behaved children. However, people see you with a kid and therefore assume that you must love all children and should be trusted to be responsible for them.

Today was a prime example of this phenomenon. My car needed service and it just wasn't going to work out for me to drop off the car the night before and get it later so I had to wait at the dealership...with a toddler...for 1.5 hours. It actually wasn't too bad because the dealership has this glassed in playroom full of toys next to the main lobby waiting area. Faith loves playing with new toys, so I just had to sit on a bean bag (no real chairs) and read my Kindle.

This carpet suggests that this is some kind of party room

Everything was peaceful until some mom decided that she didn't need to sit in the playroom with her two kids, probably because I was already in there. I guess I needed a shirt saying "Hey lazy bitch, I don't work here so watch your own damn kids"? I get that sitting on a bean bag sucks, but if I'm doing it while pregnant then I'm pretty sure anyone can handle it. Her kids were absolute monsters (what kind of kids just start throwing large plastic toys at the glass within the first 5 seconds?). Faith was pretty scared of them and just came and stood by me and gave me looks like "WTF is wrong with these small people?"

I'm pretty sure this picture was taken in southern MD

Eventually, my stink eye through the glass did the trick and their mother came and got them out of the playroom, but then another mom dropped off her kid there and went to go sit elsewhere. Seriously people, don't have kids if you don't want to freaking parent them. This kid was better than the first two, but he was a chatty kid, you know the kind that wants to talk AT you endlessly. Maybe I'm not up to date on current parenting trends, but I'd never let Faith do that to some poor stranger in a waiting room. I wouldn't even put my dog in a fenced area with a stranger and not pay attention because that's just rude. I'd like to think that my standards for my dog aren't too far reaching for everyone to apply to their offspring.

You know I had to bring ducks into this somehow

I think this will be more of an issue when Faith gets older and has friends come over to play because it's so awkward trying to deal with someone else's kid, especially if the kid has less than ideal parents.

Other than feeling superior about my parenting, I also ran today. I had a better run than yesterday and the weather helped a lot. We have a fantastic cool breeze today with temps in the 70s which feels amazing compared to last week. We'll be at 100 again by Friday, so it will be miserable outside again pretty soon. Yesterday I felt like giving up on running until after I have this baby and today I felt OK again, so go figure. Pregnant running is such a mind fuck.

Since I'm no longer aerodynamically built for speed (i.e. too fat to sprint), I got to help with registration and timing at the first event in my running club Summer Track Series tonight. I brought my little assistant along with me. She was more interested in sampling the ice pops than helping with set up:

Why have I waited 2 long years to have this??

It was a beautiful night to be outside, but it was close to toddler bedtime and she was getting cranky so I had to bail after about an hour. Faith missed out on her chance to time a heat, but there is always next time.

Mommy, you can't make this pace.

Are you half as cranky as me about parents not herding their feral children in public?


When was the last time you ran on a real track? I don't think I have since high school. I didn't run tonight, so the streak goes on. 

Oh, Monday

Since I'm not currently working, most of my weekdays run together and half the time, I can't even tell you the calendar date. However, Mondays still suck because my husband has grad class after work so we don't get to see him all day (well, I see him for like an hour at the end of the day, but Faith misses out entirely). That means that Mondays are the most inconvenient time for me to feel crappy, yet my body had other ideas today. I woke up with back pain and tons of round ligament pain (if you don't know what this is, just imagine stabbing pains in your abdomen as a parasite invader expands their empire).

I did run 2 miles outside this morning, but my running was largely motivated by the fact that I was cutting it close on time to make it to toddler "Wiggle Giggle" story time at the library. It was warm, muggy and nasty out this morning and the weather didn't help my outlook on the day. We did make it to the library on time and Faith had a great time. Even waiting for story time to start is fun for her.

I'm gonna punch any kids that try to take this toy from me. MY FIST IS READY.

My fist is still ready.

Since she seems to get sick from story time, I brought some antibacterial hand stuff and it turns out that she's a huge little germophobe.

OMG Mommy, did you see that kid next to me with the runny nose?

I'm so grossed out by other toddlers. 

She was more into that stuff than sunblock and that's saying a lot. I'm not really sure that it will make a difference in her getting sick from the other kids, but it's worth a shot. Oh, those are stamps on her hand, not some kind of leprosy in case you were wondering.

When we got home from that, she had lunch and then it was time for me to run more. It was one of those days when I should have listened to that voice in my head that said "Wouldn't napping be a better use of your time?". I thought my back would loosen up as I went, but it never did. After a little over 2 miles, I went to try to adjust the volume with the remote and hit some random button that made the TV not work anymore. I spent like 10 minutes trying to fix it, but I couldn't figure it out. I'm sure it will take my husband like 2 seconds to fix it tonight, but it was the straw that broke the camel's back for my run and I just said "Screw it" and called it a day at 4.26 miles total (including the outside portion).

Don't bring me into this you lazy bitch

It was stormy outside this afternoon, so went spent it inside. Faith seemed concerned about Peanut's laziness:

Hey dog, is this all you DO all day?

Mommy, even a fish would move more than this.

Hey Peanut, can you still breathe when I do this?

I'm banking on feeling better tomorrow and getting a good run in. My standards for a "good run" are pretty low, so there is a good chance I'll get it done.


What day of the week do you hate the most? I always hate whatever day my husband has night class.

Are you a Purell user? I never used to even own any, but I got some just for going to the pediatrician's office and the library because they are cesspools of disease.

A born criminal

We kept our weekend pretty low key because my husband had homework and I'm just lazy, so I have limited tales of action and adventure. The only excitement was going to get the baby ultrasound on Friday morning (if you missed the post, here it is). Since it was a 1.5 hour drive each way to the ultrasound, it felt like a mission to get it done, especially when you tack on the extra trip of taking the dog to day care. It's worth it for her to do this all day:

I don't know how, but she came home clean despite these mud pictures

So instead of coming home to a crazy dog, we were able to have this all evening:

I'm too fat to play in the mud with puppies all day....zzzzzzzzzzzz

On Saturday, I went for an early run with two friends and we did a little less than 7 miles before it got too hot. Peanut came along for that, so I guess she's had a banner weekend. I ran 5 miles today (36 miles for the week) but stuck to the treadmill instead because I didn't want to get up really early. Instead, I slept in until 7:30am (crazy!) and made biscuits from scratch and bacon (not from scratch). My husband is going to shed a tear for the loss of his hot breakfasts on the weekends when I go back to my former levels of running.

This weekend, my husband got to experience a problem I've been having with Faith lately: she loves going to time out. She only gets time out for one thing (hitting) and when I first did it, she would cry and act like those 2 minutes in a comfy chair were the end of the world. Now she smiles and sits in absolute silence and doesn't move a muscle.

Mommy, don't disturb me. I'm in something they call "time out"

She's now hitting on purpose just to get a time out, so obviously I'm sucking at some part of the punishment thing or she's a born criminal. The thing is that when she is is done with time out, she's calm and gentle and usually wants to give a hug to the person/dog she hit and say "SAW-EEE" so it's working in a way. As it stands, she's getting about 2 time outs a day and loving every second of it. My husband told me that yelling at people and having them fear you is a learned art so I shouldn't feel bad. It must be especially hard with a toddler since he has tons of training and practice in yelling at people and she still just smiles at him when he puts her in time out.

I wonder if she's going to enjoy being grounded in high school as much as she enjoys time outs now? I doubt it, but I'll be sure to remind her that she used to smile about punishments.

It would be easier to dole out punishments if she wasn't so freaking cute. Sure, I'm biased, but I'm pretty sure I have the loudest stomping kid on the block.






Did you ever secretly (or not so secretly) enjoy punishments as a kid? I seem to recall thinking getting sent to my room which was full of toys as not such a bad deal.

Soon to be overrun

We had the ultrasound this morning and the verdict is.....GIRL! She was very cooperative for the ultrasound and showed very clearly that she is not a boy. My husband and I are really happy with the news (even though 2 people have already asked if my husband is upset, which is silly since he's wanted another girl the whole time) and we can't wait for Faith to have a little minion... I mean, little sister.

I shall make her give me all of her blueberries

We also got confirmation that my placenta is anterior and the baby is nestled into my back, which is probably why I've been having bad sciatica already. It helped me feel better to know for sure why I'm not feeling kicks and punches except on the edges of my stomach. It was really great to actually see the baby too and pretty strange to see all that movement, but not be able to feel any of it. Stupid wayward placenta! I'm sure in a month or two, I'll be glad to have a cushion from those punches and kicks.

Almost everyone (including myself) thought this baby would be a boy, so we have to give credit to my husband who thought it was a girl all along. He was right last time too, maybe he should get a booth at a circus or something.

Do you have an older sister (or are you one)? Did you make your younger siblings your little servants? That's what I'm imagining will eventually happen here.

My Gypsy Placenta

I had a prenatal appointment this morning and I was talking to my OB about how I'm not feeling fetal movement in the same way with this pregnancy. It's difficult to describe exactly, but I feel internal movement and the occasional jab in my side, but everything feels...muffled. I was trying to not worry about it too much since it's still early (21 weeks) and it wasn't like I wasn't feeling anything all, it's just that I'm not feeling consistent or strong movements.

For example, with Faith (who was quite the violent little kicker) I would feel movement any time I ate something sweet. With this baby, I don't have that instant reaction at all. It turns out there is a reasonable explanation for all of this: I have a wandering placenta. Maybe it heard all those placenta eating jokes I like to make and decided to fuck with me?

I like my placenta with buttered noodles...and fava beans. 

I thought the doctor would be concerned when I told her how I was feeling, but apparently having a wayward placenta is no big deal. Here's a diagram to explain:

The best part of all of this is that the placenta often moves to the correct location by the time of birth. I had no idea that placenta could just rove around like a gypsy in my uterus, I was under the impression that it latched on the side of the uterus and was...stuck...there, but I learn new things everyday.

Tomorrow is when we drive up to civilization to pay for an elective ultrasound to find out boy versus girl (since I haven't had an ultrasound since 9 weeks and won't have another medical one at all). I'll update when we get back (around 3pm EST?) if you're sitting on the edge of your seat anxiously awaiting the news.

Faith was really well behaved at my doctor's appointment today, so she got to watch "Super Why" when we got home. She cracks me up with how she watches TV:

This floor needs kicking and this blanket needs wearing.

Since that appointment took most of the morning, Peanut was robbed of her walk/run (I did 5 miles on the treadmill during nap time instead). She didn't seem to care much, as long as she could be in the AC.

I'm meeeeeeelting

Peanut's day got a lot more awesome because she got a new collar in the mail from Emily's Etsy shop! (Note: I bought the collar myself and in no way was coerced into discussing it on my blog, which is probably why I'm actually willing to talk about it).

Peanut has never had a middle name, but I think she'll now go by Peanut "Katniss" Kramer.

I'm ready for the arena

I'M KATNISS!

I'm pretty sure that collar is going to do more to heal her liver than those crazy big pills I give her everyday. Man, I should have gone to vet school, I'm so good at this stuff. She's going to be the coolest dog at daycare  tomorrow.


What's the coolest dog collar you've ever seen? I think the Mockingjay pattern in my new all time favorite.

TFP

I admit that I love acronyms, especially ones that let you curse discreetly like FUBAR, SOL, WTF. My new favorite acronyms is one I made up for myself: TFP (Too fucking pregnant). Here's an example of its use: "I'm TFP to be outside in this heat" or "Kid, I'm TFP to be carting your 31lbs around all day".

Mommy, why are you so lazy?

You've probably heard, but the East Coast is a mess of heat and humidity today (and tomorrow, yay!) and it makes for a long day with a toddler. We went for a run/walk early so the dog could get her exercise, but it never really cooled off last night and it was already hot by 8am. I wanted to go earlier, but Faith was being contrary and sleeping in. I woke her up at 7:30am because any later and she won't nap and she was not pleased with me. She was really fussy inside, so I thought if we went to a shady park that she could tire herself out.

I'm pretty sure putting on sunscreen and driving to the park took longer than we actually spent at the park because it was so freaking hot and I'm TFP to sit and sweat in the shade at 9:30 in the morning.

Ugh, this sand is DIRTY Mommy. What am I, an animal?

I'm going to need a bath after this.

After about 20 minutes, I asked Faith if she would like to bag the park idea and go get Slurpees instead. Her reaction:

You mean this park business was optional??

She actually ended up picking out a fun juice bottle thing with a SpongeBob top instead of a Slurpee/Icee and was so excited to be in an air conditioned car that she busted out enthusiastic dance moves to the Wiggles "Hot Potato" song.

Hot potato, hot potato!

Mashed banana, mashed banana!

Yes, those are the actual lyrics and yes, I think the Wiggles may come up with song ideas while under the influence.

Meanwhile the dog's idiotic world, she likes to stand out in the hot sun until she almost vomits. It's like the fireplace in the winter, but somehow even sadder.

Durrrrrrr

Yes, the tags are still on the chairs we just bought. I can't hold the thought to remember to cut them off. Maybe the shame of posting this on the internet will inspire me to just do it already.

I did the rest of my run (5 more miles) in the AC on the treadmill with a fan on me, which is pretty much the only way I can even approach comfort while running these days. Running with the stroller is steadily becoming less of a viable option because it uses way more abdominal muscles than I thought and steering it actually strains my obliques since my front abs are useless right now. I haven't given up on it entirely, but it hasn't been feeling good this week.

I think tomorrow is going to be an inside day since it's going to be even hotter. I may fill up her pool, but even that task sounds like it would involve lots of sweat on my part. I feel like being pregnant in the summer is like wearing a down vest all the time, but that could be just me since I'm always hot anyway. It's really fun how the heat makes me cranky. My husband was trained for combat and all, but I don't think that prepared him for coming home to me after a hot day with a boisterous toddler. Who says that men don't suffer in pregnancy?


How are you beating the heat this week? If it's cold where you are, you are dead to me.

Do you have any made up acronyms in your life?