Denial.
I ran when Faith was a little baby, so this should be the same! I just need to find ultras that are on loops so I can stop and pump as I run. My weekday runs might not be perfect, but I'll be able to get my long runs done on the weekend when my husband is home!
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| Silly Mommy. |
Anger.
This shouldn't be that hard! What kind of baby doesn't like bottles?? Why does she scream like a banshee for my husband? Why can't I freaking finish just ONE run without having to stop and feed the baby. I JUST fed her before I started this run!
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| Mommy, I didn't give you clearance to leave my presence. |
Depression.
OMG, I'm going to be a friendless loser who never runs double digit miles. I'm doomed to be one of those people who only runs on the treadmill and talks to themselves.
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| Uh, Mommy? No one else talks to themselves. |
Bargaining.
OK, let's say I don't run my long runs all at once. I should still be able to train for an endurance event. OK, I can only get 4 miles done at a time since the baby seems to be going through some kind of growth spurt...so how long will it take me to get to 12 miles?
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| Longer than you have time for, that's how long. |
I think I've hit the final phase: Acceptance.
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| Is "acceptance" a fancy word for giving up? |
When I planned out all of my postpartum running, I never considered the obstacle of having a baby who wouldn't take a bottle. I honestly never thought breastfeeding would work out since it was such a failure the first time. I guess this baby is more cooperative than my first, who could have guessed that?
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| Everyone. |
While I'm grateful that breastfeeding has been successful this time, I'm also struggling with feeling tethered to the house. Cordelia will be 3 months old tomorrow and so far her eating schedule is pretty hard to predict. Sometimes she'll go 4 hours between feedings and other times, 45 minutes. This makes it hard for me to leave her with my husband since she already cries a lot for him and he doesn't know if she's hungry. As she gets older, her eating patterns will get more predictable, but for now...I've been sticking to the treadmill on the weekends.
This week is unusual because it was cold and rainy all week so I didn't do any stroller runs, but here's my mileage and it's ALL on the treadmill:
The treadmill isn't that bad, I get to watch TV or act like an idiot and no one has to see me.
I don't think I've ever had a 40+ mile week entirely on the treadmill before. When I go outside for my next run, I'll probably trip because I've gotten used to such a flat surface.
At this point, it looks like I won't be running that marathon in March. Even if I could get my long runs done (which would literally have to happen in the middle of the night), I probably wouldn't be able to attend the actual race because Cordelia may still be refusing to bottle feed by March and I'd be gone for at least 4 hours. I've been working with a lactation consultant on the issue and my husband is trying almost daily to get her to take a bottle, but there is still a decent chance that she may never take a bottle. Eventually we can try to get her to use a straw sippy cup and bypass the bottle entirely, but that is a few months away.
I still want to run half of the marathon in March, so maybe I'll jump in with Alyssa or Kari in their second half and annoy them by being fresh and perky. Just thinking about that makes me feel better.
In case anyone was wondering, not being able to leave my house and go for a long run is way worse than giving up dairy for the baby. She is lucky that she's so cute and I like her so much.
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| I guess I'll keep her. |
Have you ever had to give up on training for an event or drop to a lower distance for non-injury reasons?
My week's mileage: 3.
ReplyDeleteIt's all on the treadmill too.
Oh, and : https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/150993_10200350834317291_1856038823_n.jpg
You're welcome.
I hope you choke on that hot melty cheese.
Deleteyou forgot "delicious".
DeleteWell, this is a sad turn of events but on the bright side, you ran 41 miles in only a little over 2 hours?? That's got to be some kind of world record!
ReplyDeleteDo you think Cordelia is already trying to one - up her sister? Like "Yup, I heard Faith couldn't breast feed AT ALL, so I will BE THE BEST BREAST FEEDER THERE IS".
Sibling rivalry starts early!
DeleteIf I have to break up my runs, I never remember the times so I only input the times for the runs I do all at once :)
You're not going to brute force ween her to make your life easier? For shame.
ReplyDeleteA real running blogger would force her to wean.
DeleteI can't believe she's still not taking a bottle! That must be so hard. I can't even imagine. I hope it changes soon for you.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter never liked the bottle. She went strait to a cup. I tried so many different kinds of bottles too. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI've had to stop training because of a diagnosis of "lazy" and "slow".
ReplyDeleteThat really does suck about the bottle. I think the only reason Charlotte ended up taking one after refusing was because it was the only option while I was at work and she got hungry enough. Also, heating it up to warmer than you'd think helped her too.
There's always next year. But of course she'll still be nursing, and you'll be pregnant with #3.
This is a stupid question, but what do working moms do in this situation? Starve them out? That's kind of scary. I'm trying to convince Charlotte to wean off of the bottle, but she is refusing. I already lost the pacifier battle, so clearly she'll just need a pacifier and a bottle to take to prom. I guess that's better than having to take my boobs to prom.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. I have this mental image of a kid going to prom with giant walking boobs. Clearly, I ought to step away from the comment box.
DeleteYeah so I had this problem and when I went back to classes at college when she was 2 months (one day a week) my husband (who has Fridays off) actually came with me so I could feed her in my coffee breaks :-S and walk around with her in either a carrier or the stroller (she also HATED the stroller, it was CARRY ME YOU BITCHES, all the way).
DeleteThen at 4 months I went back to work and it would have been 3 days of her being at daycare for 11 hours. I thought maaayyyybeee she'd take a bottle there better, but lo & behold: she drank maybe 20 ml in 6 hours (less than an ounce, they need about 100-150 ml at that stage, PER BOTTLE).
Then I realized I needed to take extra parental leave (yay for the Netherlands!) and work half days until she was 6 months. We really, really tried everything, including starting solids early but she wasn't having it. Finally she was doing okay-ish by six months, but she still reverse cycled (catching up on feeding at night, yay! Ahem) because she only ever drank enough to keep her tummy slightly full.
She's a great eater now, but still doesn't drink a lot.
These kinds of babies are SUCH a challenge. In a way I am glad Amber was our first, because even though it was SO hard, I can't imagine first having a baby that wasn't like this, and then having a second shock you so badly!
Very frustrating I can only imagine. One day soon the stars will align for you again I'm sure!
ReplyDeleteThis too will pass. Eventually.
ReplyDeleteMy kids always took bottles (NICU legacy), but my mother recalls me being a lot like Cordelia (yes, I had the rare-for-the-1970s breastfeeding mother; makes up for the fact that she smoked with me in utero). She said I finally started on bottles when I was 9 months old and started being Daddy's Girl. That's probably not comfort, but I will tell you I think doing 41 miles in the week, treadmill or no, with two small kids to care for is pretty awesome. Not something I did until mine were, oh, three! The marathon might be hard on that, but you can probably do any other distance and get some satisfaction out of it. Maybe stick to shorter races until she embraces the bottle?
ReplyDeleteYou can find the answer to all of your problems in Meet The Fockers. Here... I fetched the clip for you. You're welcome. :)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0s18i95JKA
Try to remember - it's all temporary. Life gets in the way sometimes. Keep up your short(?) 8/9 mile runs. You will will be ready for the Fall! I am proud of you for fitting anything in at all!
ReplyDeleteThere will probably be more marathons so the kid is probably worth it. I've been running pretty much exclusively on the treadmill (or with a dog) but it's due to burn out and well, running while looking and acting that that will ferrell clip makes it enjoyable!
ReplyDeleteWhy did you have to give up dairy?
ReplyDeleteMy first daughter was allergic to milk protein so when Cordelia started getting fussy, I cut dairy from my diet and she went back to being a laid back baby. It sucks, but it's better than pricey formula (like we did with my first).
DeleteIt's hard. None of my kids would take a bottle ever. And I had to stop training to get pregnant (at least that's how it seemed but I was "old" and panicking). By now I'm so used to the kids' needs superseding my workouts that I'm pretty chill about it all. I have no problem eating race fees. I'll enter stuff but bail if I haven't been able to train properly. Good luck to you with it all. I also had to give up dairy, so I feel that pain, too.
ReplyDeleteYou may need some therapy to grieve this loss! (Not really kidding, but sort of...)
ReplyDeleteAcceptance was the only thing that worked with Amber. And, fitting in the workouts/runs when I was awake anyway. A. woke at 4:30 am until she was about 18 months (ugh) and that meant that I was up before my husband & I could get a run in before he left (handing him the baby, fed & sleepy). But you just do what you can do, and you know what absolutely rocks? That first race you run, that you fought for, that took far longer to get to than you would have thought.
Hope you feel better soon about the change of plans. I'm sure that when March comes around and the weather starts to get better, things will be looking up. Have you thought of doing some more serious strength training? Heavy lifting is often the only way I can feel better if I can't run.
Here's something to make you feel better: you ran the same number of miles as I did last week. It's practically like you're following the training plan.
ReplyDeleteI stopped training for stuff this fall because of that job-thing. I was not pleased, but it was the right decision...sometimes things are more important than running. It's just that I don't like my life like that ;)
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel better, I'm not training for anything now and you're running more than me. By like, a lot.
DeleteLower distance for non-injury reasons of work and laziness. New job got crazy for a while and running became about 3 days a week and 20-25ish miles mostly because long work days were zapping my energy so I was choosing sleep over getting up before 6am. I am sure I could have PRed by more at my recent HMs if I had ben running more. No gym membership and no treadmill also means my midweek runs are in the dark...so that's where the lazy part comes in. I feel even lazier now seeing you are getting in an impressive 41 miles a week with a babe latched to your boob.
ReplyDeleteLower distance for non-injury reasons of work and laziness. New job got crazy for a while and running became about 3 days a week and 20-25ish miles mostly because long work days were zapping my energy so I was choosing sleep over getting up before 6am. I am sure I could have PRed by more at my recent HMs if I had ben running more. No gym membership and no treadmill also means my midweek runs are in the dark...so that's where the lazy part comes in. I feel even lazier now seeing you are getting in an impressive 41 miles a week with a babe latched to your boob.
ReplyDeleteMy 2nd was ridiculously stupid about taking a bottle too. She went to daycare and when I would pick her up and the daycare lady would give me sad face and say "She only drank 4oz." I think the most she ever drank was 10 and that was like a freaking miracle. Of course, this meant my boobs were up all night. I finally broke the cycle around a year. It me so long because I am weak. I don't regret it at all - and sometimes I look back to that time fondly for some strange reason, but damn I was tired. That said - 41 miles on a treadmill is rockstar status, IMO. Not that it makes up for being able to train for a marathon - but there will be others, right? And you know you can run a kickass 1/2 right now. (I know, I know - it's not the same)
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess the advantage of failing miserably at nursing is that my baby will take a bottle - seeing as how she had to or she'd starve. If it's not one thing, it's another. :-( I still think 41 miles is amazing. That's like double my best mileage.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I totally thought naming my baby Charlotte was original, but I'm the third commenter on this post with a little girl named Charlotte. Oh well!
I’m perplexed--what do mothers of adopted babies (from birth) do when their kids don't take to the bottle? Clearly, they would have to eventually, right? Who put these kids in charge anyway? Sheesh, you'd think they ran the joint.
ReplyDeleteThat weekly treadmill mileage is fantastic
I think for adoptions, they don't breastfeed? If you offer the bottle right away, then it's not a problem. Babies only have a problem when you switch back and forth.
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