Running early in the morning sucks monkey balls.
Milk production is at the highest level in the morning (since in theory babies are hungry from sleeping all night, ha), so even running after a feeding is uncomfortable. Ideally, I'd pump myself dry before I run so I could start with empty tanks, but since my little putz won't take a bottle, that's a recipe for wasted milk and a screaming, hungry baby when I don't have what she wants exactly when she wants it.
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| Why cows moo a lot in the morning |
It will make you hungry enough to wonder if anyone would notice if you ate the dog.
Breastfeeding already makes you hungrier than usual and when you add running, you hit a new record of feeling both exhausted and starving.
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| This is me by 6pm |
My grocery bill looks like we have an extra adult in the house because there is no way 2 adults and a toddler could possibly eat that much food.
Gone are the days of cute sports bras.
Normally, I am a nice normal bra size and I have a wide selection of attractive sports bras for my choosing. Nowadays, it's not so much a "sports bra" as it is a "boulder holder" and while effective, it's not cute at all.
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| Moving Comfort Maia if you're interested in being like me |
Even with good undergarments, running feels extra jiggly.
Your boobs may be contained, but everything else feels like it's all over the place. Breastfeeding (for me) seems to make my body hold onto fat in unusual (for me) places like my butt. It's true, I've been hiding some serious whooty (white girl booty).
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| A pic from my beach trip last week |
Breastfeeding drains your energy.
It's not just breastfeeding because having a little baby is tiring even if you aren't lactating. However, breastfeeding is a physical drain on your body, especially during baby growth spurts. I notice a huge difference in my running energy levels when the baby is eating more often.
It makes you a slower runner.
I don't have any science to support this assertion, but that's OK because who really likes science anyway?
However, I remember clearly that when I weaned with Faith (around this same mark of 3 months), my running endurance increased and I got faster. Not a huge difference (like 30 seconds per mile kind of difference), but I'm still blaming breastfeeding for my current slower paces.
If you scrolled through this and thought "Ugh, I don't want to read about this chick's leaky boobs and running", then I'm deeply sorry.
Why would anyone HIDE a whooty? I didn't even finish the post. Friendship over.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many magical things I'm missing out on by not having a child. Although I AM in the market for a new "i don't want them to move at all" sports bra so thanks for the tip.
ReplyDeleteYou make me want to have a baby.
ReplyDeleteJust kidding.
I will take Angel, though.
Oh the joys! Can't wait to someday experience them!
ReplyDeletep.s. that was sarcasm... :-)
ReplyDeleteThis post would have been more tolerable with more pictures of boobs.
ReplyDeleteThe sports bra pic was overwhelmed by the one following it, so you're at an overall negative.
DeleteThere's no question at the end of your post and I don't know how I'm supposed to respond.
ReplyDeleteNow that I'm no longer breastfeeding I thought my boobs would go away, but they're still here. Must take flattering photos while there's still time!!
Those udders made me shiver. And I felt a twinge of old pain in my breasts. This is why I didn't really start running much until my kids were eight months old. I just hated the milk-heavy bounce.
ReplyDeleteI already have no energy as it is, I can't imagine throwing running into the mix. I am just as hungry though. I eat two breakfasts and three lunches a day. Whooty alert.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe how breastfeeding exhausts me. I do think it's helping with the post-pregnancy weight loss because I'm eating garbage, but I feel like she just sucks the energy out of me with each meal!
ReplyDeleteAre you seriously bitching about wearing the Maia? I had to switch to fucking Enell while I was nursing because Moving Comfort doesn't make my nursing cup size. It's like wearing the top half of a corset. And nursing does make you slower, presumably due to the extra weight on your chest and hydration issues. Women really are the cows of people.
ReplyDeleteIf I had a whooty like that I would flaunt it too. Nursing was the only time I every had any boobage at all that BOUNCED such a shock, I like breastfeeding for that reason and stretched it out as long as I could, I miss the boobage but not the bouncing so I can't imagine how much worse it is for someone who actually had boobs to start with. I think with my second child it was about 6 months before I noticed the weight really being gone or more like 8.
ReplyDeleterunning through the bronx is the best litmus test of whooty - the greatness of the whooty is directly related to the number of inappropriate remarks/gestures.
ReplyDeleteOf course breastfeeding makes you slower. Hey, when you're carrying a milkbar around on your chest you're not exactly streamlined. It's all to do with aerodynamics and that's sciency.
ReplyDeleteI will not be able to sleep tonight now because I fear the image of the woman performing jumping jacks will haunt my dreamscapes.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Yep, these are all things I'm not looking forward to. I mean, it's worth it, but it doesn't make it super awesome. It does level off around 6 months - I'm not sure if that's any consolidation. Probably not.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what's making me laugh harder, the fucking magnets or whooty. HAHAHAHAHA!!
ReplyDeleteThe only horrific memory of breastfeeding for me is when random kids would cry in stores and I would turn into a leaky faucet for the communities children. Humiliating. Please say that happens to others besides myself. Awkward :/
I'm due in late April and currently wondering how I'm going to breastfeed and train for a September half-marathon :-) Drained energy, leaky swollen boobs, and I can't imagine how much trouble I am going to have to find a new running bra. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteYou know what they need to invent? A nursing sports bra. Go ahead. Steal my idea and make millions.
ReplyDeleteThis baby thing seems really complicated.
ReplyDeleteYou are hysterical. I just spent a good portion of my morning reading about your boobs and way too cute babies. And I loved it.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I go grocery shopping, I get 1 of 2 questions from the cashier:
ReplyDelete1. Are you a vegetarian? (As she's ringing up a crap ton of veggies and Morningstar stuff but ALSO turkey and chicken.)
2. How long does this food last you?!
(Because I buy a shiz ton of food. But I have no breastfeeding excuses. I get called out anyway.)
And really, cashiers check out probably 100+ people a day so I'm thinking that I really do buy a lot of food.
That's also why when manicurists say I have nice hands, I believe them. Also, I don't know where I'm going with this comment.
I don't know where you're going either, but I like it.
DeleteI have a nursing sports bra. It's OK for pilates and such but not terribly supportive for running, especially in the AM when the chesticles are at their bounciest. Thank you for the bra suggestion - I have been lazy about it, but the bouncing and discomfort are the main reason I have not done a good job getting back into a regular exercise regime. I'm in my 14th month of nursing kid #3, and I'm not burning the calories I was a year ago. But since I haven't cut back much on the eating (5 meals a day, at least - it's kind of sick how much food I consume), it's time for me to get moving again.
ReplyDeleteIt is a joy, isn't it? I'm not looking forward to this aspect of getting back to running. I'm scared to see if my sports bras still fit. I already ordered one new huge one. I haven't tried the Maia yet. I might need to get that one. I have the Juno and the Jubilee and like them both, but I don't know if they'll fit now. I know what you mean about the hunger. I'm already starving constantly. I know it will only get worse when I start running.
ReplyDeleteSee, if I Whooty anyway. Now that I'm breastfeeding I have a matching set, with boobage and a fat tummy. So I'm more proportional, yet more fat. Funny how that works. I also find nursing makes me slow, and kind of lazy, and makes me eat a lot of peanut butter. And makes me have a lot of aches and pains I don't think I'd normally have. And calf cramps. Basically running while nursing totally sucks. Did you go over that?
ReplyDeleteHAA! Oh my god your gifs made me blow snot all over my keyboard. I just finished breastfeeding a couple months ago and yes, everything you just said, YES.
ReplyDeleteFor the first 6 months of breastfeeding, I was a 34 I ...as in H, I, J. I didn't run. Honestly, I didn't even miss it. I could not fathom running in that "condition"! Good for you for getting out there at all!
ReplyDelete