These are the deep thoughts I have in the middle of the night when I'm up with the baby. We seem to be having a failure to communicate with the baby that nighttime is for long stretches of sleeping. I'd say "It's just a phase! Growth spurt! Regression!" but it's been over 6 weeks and I think I can now admit that it's the new normal. She is waking up every 3 hours at night to eat and I'm starting to think she is eating out of habit instead of pure hunger. She's just so punctual in her wake up times! It's like if you ate a bowl of cereal at 12:05am for three days in a row...then you'd wake up at 12:05am on the 4th day and be hungry, right?
My latest plan is trying to procrastinate on that feeding so she'll get used to waiting longer to eat and hopefully do crazy shit in the future like sleep for a 4-5 hour stretch at night. I just want one longer stretch of sleep, so since the bar for success is set so low, it has to be possible...right? I'm not expecting her to go all night without eating, at least not until she's older.
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| You can't tell me what to do! |
So I haven't sleep for more than 3 hours at a time since January and it's not having a pleasant impact on my personality. I'm about one week from lecturing people about spelling mistakes on their Facebook posts.
Not that I'm normally Miss Sunshine, but I don't really enjoy feeling so close to going postal at all times. On Sunday when I went to the grocery store, I got so irrationally mad that they had rearranged everything because obviously they didn't respect my need to get in and out quickly without having to search all over for the fucking lunch meat section.
Normally when I get all spun up about injustices like grocery store reorganization, my husband is the one to deal with my insanity and to his credit, he hasn't said this yet:
My irrational drama of the day is freaking out about what is living in my yard. This big hole is right near the deck stairs and I'm torn between worrying that it's a snake hole and worrying that I'm going to have a kill a cute mole.
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| Vegan hippie shoe for scale |
If you think I'm crazy to think it could be a snake, you may be right because it's still too cold but remember I used to have one living in the garage? Yeah, snakes are a real concern here.
What do you think is living in that hole?
Any tips on getting a baby to drop one night feeding (not all of them, just one) are appreciated too. :)
On the plus side: she's adorable!
ReplyDeleteObviously the hole dweller is a honey badger and honey badgers don't give a shit, so good luck with that.
It's going to eat the dog. Awesome.
DeleteBabies are cute because it's the only thing keeping you from strangling them when they scream for no reason in the middle of the night.
DeleteTrue story.
I say mole and those things freak me out more than snakes. Did you call a mole cute?
ReplyDeleteCordelia looks to be a pretty happy baby so the current setup seems to be working for her pretty well!
Are moles not cute? Am I thinking of a groundhog?
Deletechipmunk or mole or mouse. some kind of rodent. Just pour bleach down it and voila! problem solved. yes, I am so environmentally conscious.
ReplyDeleteI can totally see the dog trying to eat the bleach soaked dirt.
DeleteThat first pic of Cordelia looks so much like Faith to me! I feel the ground would be too cold for a snack right now...so creepy mole or groundhog?
ReplyDeleteIt's never too cold for a snack. I think I meant snake.
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ReplyDeleteJeff was in the military. Doesn't that mean he knows how to conduct warfare? Go take your hippie vegan shoes inside and eat some bonbons.
ReplyDeleteIs she reversing night and day or just eating round the clock? We woke Charlotte up every 3 hours during the day, which seemed to help her sleep through the night. She was much younger than Cordelia though, so I have no idea if that would even be a good idea now.
He wasn't good at it. That's why he has a desk job now.
DeleteHe is going to smash you little man.
DeleteYou have every right to get irrationally mad about the supermarket changing everything around. They do it to me all the time and I've come close to being homicidal. Luckily they don't hand out guns to patently crazy women.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. A year later, I am still irrationally mad at Vons for not being as awesome as Wegmans.
DeleteObviously it is the Baby Snake of the Momma Snake that used to be in your garage plotting out revenge for hurting Momma.
ReplyDeleteWe're all going to die.
DeleteYou should probably move, it's clearly going to tunnel under your house, make the foundation unsound and your house will fall into a sinkhole.
ReplyDeleteThis is MD, not FL.
DeleteI remember that point in life when the babies woke up and I know they didn't need to actually eat. That is when we began the torture of "crying themselves to sleep". Works well, but I was usually crying at the same time listening to them as my husband slept through it all. What kind of snakes do you have there? We only have garder snakes in our yard.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that she is using you as a pacifier. My daughter used to do it to me. My son was like that but I just started giving him a pacifier and holding it to his mouth until he went to sleep.
ReplyDeleteMy sister says it looks like a mole, if the ground is soft, and if it falls in when you walk by it that signals a mole.
I thought about the pacifier thing too, but she eats a TON at night sometimes so it's confusing as to what she needs (comfort versus food)
DeleteI was gonna say that same thing, but then I thought, "WTF do you know about babies, Pam?" so I didn't say it. :) But because of your reply, I have to ask out of complete ignorance and curiosity... Can you tell how much she eats when she is drinking straight from the tap?
DeleteYou can hear her sucking and swallowing and I can feel that she's eating. It makes sense, I swear.
DeleteThat's totally a snake hole and everyone's going to die. My dad once chopped up a snake with a lawnmower, true story. I don't recommend that plan of action,
ReplyDeleteAdd some soy sauce and you have snake poke!
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ReplyDeleteI am browsing this website and reading very informative articles or reviews here.
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this is so helpful, thank you!!
DeleteIf you are reading informative shit, you aren't reading this blog.
DeleteIf it's a snake hole, and they are out for revenge, no worries, they'll eat you up and you'll be sleeping peacefully forever.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have no idea about the kiddo. My son doesn't need my boob anymore when he gets up in the night. Thank goodness, because that would be awkward to say the least.
This comment made me laugh out loud, for real :)
DeleteYou're welcome.
DeleteDo you have a few holes scattered throughout your yard? We did and those bitches were mole holes. You don't have to kill the moles, but you spread some grub killer. Since the moles eat grubs, they get pissed and move on to some other yard.
ReplyDeleteThat's the only hole I found! That's why I thought it was a snake.
DeleteI'm pretty sure my husband HAS called me a bitch lately, but in the most loving way possible. Lol.
ReplyDeleteI know I will be in your shoes again in just 2 months - hopefully by then you can just sit back and laugh at me. Just keep telling yourself that this too shall pass!
It has to pass eventually, it just seems like forever from this vantage point :)
DeleteFrom what I've read, if babies wake at the same time every night, it's habitual. If it's different each night (varies by an hour or two) it's likely it's hunger.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what's in that hole. and I hope you never have to find out.
My husband said he's going to find out what's in that hole this weekend. Maybe I'll video it :)
DeleteMan I hate baby crying but sometimes it is necessary. I made every excuse in the book for my son from age 4 months to 7 months as to why I would never get more than 3 hour stretches of sleep:
ReplyDelete-Oh he's regressing
-Well we just weaned the swaddle...
-Oh, well, we just transferred him to a crib so he has to get used to it, right?
-Now he's teething.
-This is totally a growth spurt.
-He hung on my boob for ten minutes less today so he obviously didn't get adequate nutrition during the day and NEEDS to eat at night.
-Overtired
-Undertired
etc etc.
Once he went to waking every hour and a half and crying whether I fed him or rocked him I realized he had forgotten how to sleep and had to sleep train him a little.
Anyway, blah blah. Long story short, I really empathize and I hope it gets better and crying sucks but sleep RULES.
If she nurses and goes right back down, I'd just nurse. If she's fussy and wants to play and you become fully awake, then she's taunting you (kidding).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, she should start solids soon, no? My kids always did better around 6 months. I believe there's even a term on the interwebz for this wakeful period. I couldn't let my tots fuss that young, so I just tried to bring them to my room, nurse half asleep, and go right back to sleep (no lights on, minimal movement, no sounds, etc.). I know the feeling though, you really do start to physically shut down. Just think, a few years from now you'll forget and probably start all over again! :0)
Yeah, she usually just eats and goes back to sleep. Stupid babies and their constant need for nourishment. :)
DeleteI probably have nothing helpful to offer with Cordelia, because my babe is not much better off at 7 months old. I cut out his night feeding by just giving him his pacifier, and that seemed to work, until 5am rolled around and he wakes up hungry. No win there. He also wakes up multiple times a night when that stupid thing falls out, so really, my conclusion is that babies ALWAYS win.
ReplyDeleteHi Kara,
ReplyDeleteI'm a new reader, your blog is great. I have a two-year-old and I just had twins in early November. I so understand the sleep deprivation rage--I would completely flip out at the smallest thing. This probably isn't a popular answer, but when I stopped breastfeeding at ten weeks and started giving them formula, they didn't need to eat as often. I think quitting also leveled out my hormones and I stopped feeling like a crazed angry person.
I have thoughts about weaning all the time. It would be so easy if she'd take a bottle. I've given myself the cut off of six months to see if it gets better before making a decision :)
DeleteI just have to say - I love those panda commercials. I wish Panda was real and could do those things to people (only those who deserve it, of course)! :)
ReplyDelete