Sunday, June 1, 2014

Lazy parties and whimsical cats

Last year for Faith's birthday, I rented the beach house on base and organized a whole cook out with lots of kid games and activities. It was rainy and miserably humid (the beach house didn't have AC, which was a fun realization) and the whole thing from set up to clean up was a pain in the ass. This year, I cheated as much as possible and it was fantastic. First, I didn't make the cake.

Like I even considered it

I also didn't try to provide kid games and crafts. I just booked an indoor jump house place and had Faith and her friends run wild. After they were good and sweaty, they stuffed themselves with cake, popcorn, and juice. It was a pretty wild party by preschooler standards.

This is just the little kid area, they have bigger stuff in the back

Faith had a great time and the whole thing was easy because I didn't have to set up or clean up. For those who are like "Oh, why don't you just light a cigar with a rolled up twenty you rich twat!" I'd like to point out that this year's party was cheaper than last years, so doing it yourself doesn't mean cheaper. I'm on team Sandra Dee and by semi-homemade, I mean that I brought the Capri Suns and a cooler.





The rest of the weekend was spent outside in the beautiful weather, or inside getting to know our new addition, who is now named "Kitty Mittens" by Faith. My husband put in cat doors for her, which is good because I don't have to guard Peanut from going downstairs to eat out of the litter box or open or close the basement door at the cat's whim. Now she can come and go whenever she wants. The bad news is now she can come and go whenever she wants, which seems to include pouncing on my husband periodically during the night. He's a patient guy, but that's a good way to push his buttons.




The other cat lady issue I'm having is trying to change the litter type. I thought I could just force her hand (paw?) like I did with the water issue. When she first came home, she wanted moving water instead of still water. Well, I'd like a fucking pony so we both get to live with disappointment and tap water. It only took her a day to realize that still water isn't so bad and I foolishly thought I could use that same tactic with the litter.




She's used to the traditional gravel/clumping type litter and I want to use a pine litter that doesn't have that same "litter" odor and isn't so dusty. I figured that she might not love the idea of it at first, but she would eventually break down and use it. I consider this to be my first lesson in getting outsmarted by a cat.

I went downstairs on Saturday night to clean her box and feed her and I could tell that she had dropped a deuce somewhere in the basement and it wasn't in her box. I looked and looked and I couldn't find it anywhere. I was dreading having to go upstairs and tell my husband that there was a hidden shit treasure somewhere in the basement, so I didn't give up. Finally, I thought to check the box where her old litter had been (it still had some litter in it). My cat has a whimsical way of saying "Fuck you and your new litter."

Keep in mind that she's just 5 freaking pounds

She seemed to somehow straddle the box to get this done, and this box was shoved all the way in the back corner of the basement. I was both impressed and horrified. I cleaned everything up and then covered the new pine litter with a layer of the old litter (apparently if I fucking read the instructions, that's what I was supposed to do from the start). Everything has been fine since then and she hasn't resorted to peeing on everything I love, even though I probably deserve it for bringing her into a house with two kids who drop everything they are doing and squeal "HI KITTY!" and sprint for her every time she shows her face.







Do you prefer to have parties at your own house or out at a venue? We always opt for having parties elsewhere, because of you know, making the house presentable. No thank you.

Any help on transitioning litter types would be very appreciated. Obviously, I need some kind of cat lady Yoda.

26 comments:

  1. my cat used to use my mom's shower as a litter box…You should train the cat to use a toilet.

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  2. ^ "HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY THUMBS, FOCKER!"

    Transitioning litter is like weaning a baby. Just mix in a little more of the new stuff every day and eventually kitty won't notice she's getting all new litter. Or, that's how it would work if cats weren't assholes.

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  3. LOL, cats are so finicky about litter! We tried switching ours to the pine stuff and it did not go well. We're back to the clay stuff, I don't like the dust or smell either but it beats cleaning up cat pee from random places.

    We also got our cats one of those cat fountains, the older they get the more susceptible they are to kidney problems so our vet suggested a fountain to keep them drinking more water.

    So what I'm saying is, our cats run our household. You will soon be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

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    1. Amen to that last section. Also to the running water to help them drink more. Although we just fill up a glass of water and put it in the sink for them to drink out of - lately that's their favorite. (Must be a GLASS, not plastic, and water must not be more than 12 hours old, or it gets ignored.) I'm not even kind of the boss in my house. It's a good think those little assholes are so cute.

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  4. Oh good, an opportunity to be a litter box evangelist. First, get rid of that awful pine litter. Go to PetSmart or go on amazon and buy a Breeze litterbox system. It uses clay pellets (I'm convinced cats hate the smell of the pine) that don't disintegrate/aren't dusty and has this handy pee pad system. Since the pee filters through, you only end up having to deal with the poop left on top and changing the pad once a week or so. The pellets last a good month. I'm doing a poor job of explaining it, but read the reviews and then blog about how your life was changed by your own personal cat lady Yoda.

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    Replies
    1. I looked up this Breeze litterbox system this morning and nearly wept with joy... finally a solution for all my cat lady problems that doesn`t involve buying a $600 Roomba: minimizing strong urine smells (my cat only pees in one particular area of litter box) AND stopping the clay litter from getting all over my hallway (her litterbox is in the hall closet). Eagerly I hit up Amazon and PetValu... turns out the Breeze system isn`t available in Canada. Looks like I am about to be $600 poorer after all.

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    2. Don't tell me that. I'm moving to Vancouver (with the damn cat) in a few months.

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  5. Replies
    1. She wants his soul. Good thing he's a ginger.

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  6. Kitten Mittens? Has Faith been doing a little TV watching on the sly?

    http://awesomegifs.com/wp-content/uploads/kitten-mittens-always-sunny.gif

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  7. Only posting as anonymous because I can't remember my damn Google log-in :). My cats hated the pine litter that you have and I think it was the texture of little pellets. I don't like the gross clay litter either so I switched them over to 'Feline Fresh Natural Pine' and haven't had any problems since. Just make sure to get the 'clumping' v. pellets. Hopefully that eliminates "surprises" around the basement! We have a PetValu that sells it around here but they also sell it online. Best price I found was http://www.onlynaturalpet.com/products/Feline-Fresh-Natural-Pine-Cat-Litter/306000.aspx?click=6&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc-pla&utm_campaign=Litter_/_Litter_Accessories&utm_content=prod&mkwid=TtBNQYmx&crid=32802847499&gclid=CN-Y1-XI274CFXQiMgodkkwAhQ

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    1. Yes, I second that it's probably the texture of pellets versus ... I don't know, what do you call the other? dust? I use Feline Pine clumping (I'm strongly against clay litter - environmental and cat health reasons), and haven't had any issues. Still wouldn't hurt to gradually transition from the old litter, but I'd totally recommend non-clay, but also non-pellet. Most of the "natural" litters, pine or paper or whatever else there is, that have pellets in their original version, also have a clumping version, that's what you should try.

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  8. I rarely have parties at my house. Way easier to go somewhere else and have them deal with the mess;)

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  9. Do you get so many angry comments about the bragging about your many riches that you have to ward them off now? I would rather have a party at home, because I like to go to sleep the second it ends.

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    Replies
    1. They see me rollin' around town in my XLE and they be hatin'

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    2. When I have parties at my home I go to sleep before the party even ends.

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  10. There's a reason that I only have dogs.

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  11. Wow, you're finally a cat lady with a cat.

    We always have parties out of the house because I don't like kids and just wouldn't want them running wild and getting into things here.

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    Replies
    1. Except for my own kid - obviously I like my own.

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  12. I would never call you a twat. Anything that makes something easier and is cheaper...DO IT. And thanks for another #turdpic. #sokind

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  13. Kara -- this is probably REALLY stalkerish, and weird, but I can't help it because I hate to throw shit away. I used to have a cat, a Maine Coon named Murphy who basically owned ME. She was a total badass, hated ALL OF HUMANITY except for me (which I enjoyed), and was generally perfect. I had her for about 14-15 years, I had to put her down a few years back, but still have her stuff in storage, although I was THIS close to giving it to Goodwill (seriously, it's staged and ready to be carried out). But in there, I have a kitty drinking fountain (you plug it in, and it creates a small waterfall so they can drink running water). I also have a cat carrier, and I'm pretty sure I have one of those self-scooping catboxes, although who knows if it still works. Anyway, if you wanted them, I'd happily give them to you instead of dropping them off with Goodwill. In case Catniss gives you some pushback on the flowing water thing. Or I'll just fuck right off, which seriously, I would understand, because even I annoy me.

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  14. a few years ago, my niece had a bday party at chuck e cheese. my husband and i had SUCH a great time. it was the perfect excuse to act like little kids and get away with it

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  15. My cat would pee on things if we changed the litter. She also pees on (not litter) things if it isn't deep enough or if it too dirty so we are on top of this. We use the BJ's brand kitty litter (only $10 for 40lbs and less dusty than other discount brands). We also buy the huge bags of baking soda at BJs and add it to the bottom of the pan and mix it throughout the litter. It helps with the smell so much that you can't even tell we have cats (we have 4 and the only place for the litter boxes is in the living room). I have no suggestions for switching her to the pine stuff so this is your backup plan help ;) Good luck!
    ~Ang

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  16. Where did you find the Frozen cake? My daughter has requested one for her birthday in July and since I'm lazy, I'm hoping you bought it a large chain store that will prevent me from having to go to several actual stores to figure it out.

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    1. Sorry, I had to special order it from a local bakery and pay out of the ass for it. The cake was the talk of the party, so at least all the kids loved it :)

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  17. Thanks! She's just turning 3, so I may still be able to talk her into something else. We'll see. Elmo and Cinderella are so lame to her now.

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