So this skunk walks into a bar...

Living in a rural area means that news travels relatively quickly and today the talk of the town was a rabid skunk attack at a local restaurant. Yes, a rabid skunk apparently just walked into a Cheeseburger in Paradise and bit a lady. You'd think that would be enough, but my absolute favorite part of all of this is how our local media titled the article: "Skunk Involved in Biting of Restaurant Patron Tests Positive For Rabies". So apparently the skunk was involved, but they aren't sure if he was the mastermind behind the whole attack? Or were there other animals "involved" as well, like a chupacabra? The article also fails to address if it was a zombie skunk, or just a normal rabid skunk.

I really feel like there are so many joke opportunities with a skunk just walking into a bar, but there seems to be a void of skunk related jokes on the internet.

Don't get close dude, it's a TRAP!

I did find this gem: A woman with a duck on her head walks into a bar. The bartender says "Where did you get that pig?" and the woman replies "It's not a pig, it's a duck!". The bartender says "Yeah, I was talking to the duck."

Other than laughing at skunk stories, I was somewhat productive today. I took Faith to her 2 year check up a the doctor and found out that she's predicted to be about 6 feet tall when fully grown (they take the height when you're two and double it and I guess that's a good indication). She's almost 3 feet tall now (and 31 pounds!) so she's on the upper limits of the percentiles, but more for height than weight. She also had to get blood drawn for a standard lead test and she also had to get a shot. She was pretty brave, but the nurse never delivered the promised lollipop! I need to make sure I have a back-up lollipop in my purse for the future because she's old enough to remember candy promises.

Since she was robbed of her lollipop, I let her have a few Oreos on our walk when we got home. It was really hot by the time we got done at the doctor's office, so I only walked 1.25 miles outside instead of running. Even in that short time, Faith was able to make a huge mess of herself.

What, have you never seen a toddler with an Oreo beard before?

My minion will clean the crumbs

During nap time I ran 4.75 miles to make it an even 6 miles of movement for the day. The heat is taking a lot out of me, so I didn't want to push it too much with distance. Tomorrow and Thursday are predicted to be in the high 90s, so this may end up being a low mileage week, but I'm not training for anything. Well, other than labor and delivery but let's not kid ourselves about the correlation of exercise and short labors. I've known fat lazy chicks who shoot out a kid like it's greased with butter and fit women who labor and push for hours on end. It's just a crap shoot.

We spent the rest of the afternoon inside because it was too hot (for me mostly) and I made pizza for dinner. Faith is really anti-bread, but she will eat pizza if I make the dough from scratch. I don't know any other toddlers who hate bread as much as this one! After dinner, she practiced her Scrabble skills in the bath tub.

T? That's barely any points.

Mommy, I could beat you in Words with Friends. Everyone else does. 

It's probably a good thing that we stayed inside today since our county may be overrun by zombie rabid skunks. Maybe they just ate bath salts like that guy in Florida who ate that dude's face?


Which is scarier: zombie animals or zombie people? Discuss.